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It is very difficult to live in this world and communicate with others in such a way as to convey the simplest of ideas. We each have a past that creates for us a point of view, a perspective. We have experiences with other people that creates an idea of how people act and react. We watch or listen to news, documentaries and even works of fiction that creates in us a fear of places we’ve never even been to before. What I have learned with my most recent ‘goodbye’ is that I don’t want to morn loss of what ‘could have been‘, but rather to be grateful for ‘what has been‘. For a split second in time, I was loved beyond words, wanted beyond wishes, cared for beyond compassion. I was kicked off the ride before I secured myself in the seat, but I’ll brush myself off and move forward without regret.
Once upon a time, there lived a little girl who had a voice inside her that spoke through written thought. Sometimes the written thought appeared to her as poetry. Sometimes the written thought appeared as story. Characters developed as did the young girl and her story writing became more complex and difficult for her to complete. The concept of the stories had flourished beyond her skills. This young girl grew into a young stay-at-home mother who had all the time in the world to consider her story writing as a profession. She enrolled in a home study course which offered realistic critique from an accredited author, more valuable to her than the sincere but untrained appreciation of her close friends and family. She honed her skills, learned a great deal about the business side of writing and was guided toward completion of her unfinished and unpolished manuscripts. She had passion and could envision success for herself...until...another woman stepped into her marriage and she found herself stripped from the carefree pages of her writing and flung into the harsh, cold world of working to pay for childcare. Nothing else was within her view. She looked to books on writing as self-study; a knot she'd tied at the end of her rope where she held on with a tremendous grip along side her muse. Years later, with her children now independent of her and the paths of many careers and loves behind her, this young mother is now an older, wiser, experienced and independent woman. Throughout the years, the voice inside her that spoke through written thought was always active, sometimes speaking to her in poetry and sometimes in story form. She is now at a point where she has all the time in the world to re-consider her story writing as a profession. This is, for her, the write time.
Well, I’ve had my online datiing site profile up for a whole week, now. I’ve seen the creepy guys we’ve all heard about and the site allows me to block these guys, completely erase them from my little ‘dating site world‘. All my friends on the site are military men, law enforcement and a fireman. Oh, yes...and one simple on the outside and intricately multifaceted on the inside guy called ‘Cybercharlie‘. He is an artist. And he has my undivided attention. When I was in my early 20’s, I wrote a children’s story, the first of three in a series. My artist friend at the time, Joey took my manuscript and read it. He then presented me with a matted and framed illustration of one of my characters, Larkus. I had written about Larkus for two years and this was the first time I’d ever seen him and I was not prepared for the wave of emotion that consumed me at that moment. I cried for 20 minutes! No one I’ve ever known can relate, because Joey and I shared a creative kinship on a level that I’ve never shared with another soul. Until now. Cybercharlie has re-introduced me to my muse and I couldn’t be more excited. I have truely found a friend for life.
"The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken" ~ Samuel Johnson
Any type of lifestyle change we want to make for ourselves is established through habits. If you want to become a thrifty shopper, you develop habits of using coupons or looking for sales. If you want to be a better student, you develop habits of taking better notes or scheduling specific study times. Becoming a more fit and healthy individual requires the same effort.
EATING – Incorporate more good things into your diet like water, dietary fiber, vegetables, fruits, whole grains and a multi-vitamin & mineral. Limit foods or drinks that aren't nutritionally beneficial like fried foods, fast foods, sodas (even diet ones), energy drinks and sweets. Practice portion control. Begin the habit of asking for a to-go box when ordering dinner at a restaurant. Put half of everything on your plate into the box and set it aside to take home. Now, you can eat everything on your plate and not consume as many calories. Eat one thing at a time, like one pork chop, one slice of pizza, one piece of chicken. Finish that one serving along with your side items before going back for seconds.
SLEEPING – Sleep is just as important to your health as food and exercise. Brenda Phillips, the Sleep Tech at Northwest Medical Center Sleep Lab in Winfield, suggests we try to get 7 -8 hours of restful sleep a night. A cool, dark room with a bed not used for homework, watching television or bill paying, is ideal for restful sleep. Going to bed and waking up at the same time every night, develops sleeping habits. Even on weekends and any nights you don't have school or work the next day.
EXERCISE – If you are trying to incorporate exercise into your day or evening, begin by deciding on a day and a time to devote to exercise. It doesn't matter how intense the workout or what the exercise is. Remember, the goal is to develop a habit right now. Once you are able to consistently devote a specific day and time to exercise, it will become habit and you can design a more structured routine after that. It does no good to design an intricate workout if you haven't committed to making time for it.
LIFESTYLE – Pick your own parking space at Wal-Mart or the grocery store, far away from the entrance and habitually park there each time you visit that business. If you work long hours, set your watch or computer to remind you of when each hour has passed. When you hear the buzzer or beep, get up and walk around the facility or walk to the end of the hall and back. If you spend time in front of the television, walk around your house or do light house cleaning during every commercial break.
It may take a few weeks for habits to become discipline, but if you dedicate yourself to small changes, the transition will be smoother.
So, I decided to join a couple of online dating services. I spent a lot of time creating a profile, uploading pictures and flipping through other peoples’ pictures and reading their profiles, just to discover that if I wanted to send a message to anyone of interest, I had to ‘upgrade’ with a contract. What is the point of that?? I finally found two (2) websites that were as they had advertised...FREE. Most of the guys in my area posted pictures of themselves holding fish they’d caught. What message is that sending? The message I got was, “Here, woman. I caught it, you clean it and cook it while I drink a beer.” I didn’t respond to those guys. I did send some messages to some guys who sparked my interest. I’ll keep you informed...not because you might be interested, but in case I go missing, you gals can give the police a possible lead. Anyone else with online dating experience?
I work at a gym. I work during the day and workout at night. On nights that I workout, I have sometimes seen a guy that I used to go to school with. His name is Judd. We’ve spoken a few times in between sets of exercises. Well, I have recently had to cover for the night shift at work and Judd saw me working at the front desk a few nights, the last couple of weeks. He stopped this past Monday night and spoke with me in length before his workout. That was new, so I glanced his way every now and then while he was working out and he was looking my way, also. I called a girlfriend of mine and told her the happenings. She was inspired. After his workout, he stopped by and spoke with me for another 15 or 20 minutes. In my mind, this meant ‘interest‘. I didn’t workout Tuesday or Wednesday and on Thursday, I got up the nerve to write Judd a note for my co-worker to give him if he showed up to workout that night. The note invited Judd to my friend’s house (who was also a fellow classmate) to catch up and hang out. The note included my phone number. I dropped the note off at the gym on my way to meet my brother for dinner. After dinner, I had second thoughts and dropped by the gym to pick it up. He had already come and my co-worker had given it to him. Well, the weekend has passed without a phone call and I am consumed with the feeling that I overstepped my work boundaries. I feel like he’s going to be hesitant to come workout for fear I’m there. I have just made a complete mess out of the situation and am humiliated. I feel like he thinks I’m desperate, bold and assertive. Now, I don’t feel like I can go workout until a month has gone by and he’s forgotten about the whole horrible ordeal.