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Benefits
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Girl Talk
A healthy lifestyle is essential once we reach Fabulously40, a lesson that many of us seem to be slow in learning.
In our 20’s and 30’s, we could get away with bad food and lifestyle choices. If we didn’t get eight hours of sleep at night, it wasn’t evident (at least not right away). If we ate or drank too much for a whole week, perhaps we added a pound or two, but not much more. And when decided to go on a diet, the pounds seemed to melt away.
At 40+, it seems that anything we do that is not appropriate to our age category takes an immediate toll. I’ve always had a weight issue - I would eat, gain weight, diet, lose weight, and then repeat the cycle - only now it seems worse than ever. I don’t think there’s a diet I haven’t heard of, tried or attempted.
Ironically, I’ve found that they all work as long as you count your calories. Take in fewer calories than you burn each day and you will loose weight. The challenge, of course, is keeping the weight off. Had I found the answer to that age-old problem I would have been the most celebrated woman on the planet.
Let’s face it ladies, we live in a society that preaches that size 0 models are the most beautiful creatures on earth. We hear it, we live it, and worst of all, we teach it to our children. I remember preaching to my daughters to stop eating too much so they will not have my thighs, arms, or derriere.
I have finally accepted the fact that as we age, we need to take care of our bodies in a more attentive way. Like it or not, every extra piece of bread we put in our mouths will end on our thighs, arms or somewhere in between. However, that doesn’t make it any easier to say no to that freshly buttered croissant and dive into a plate of raw carrots and broccoli instead.
Recently, I came to the conclusion that although there are many ways to eat healthier and take better care of ourselves, the secret is finding out what works best for each individual. After trying countless diets and eating plans, I have discovered that Weight Watchers works best for me. All I need to do is to make it a daily routine. For me, that means going to their meetings, having a workout buddy, and being held accountable for everything that goes into my mouth.
Every year I gain 10 pounds during the holiday season, and every year I have to deal with the extra weight after the holidays. This year, however, I managed to gain 10 pounds before the holidays even began, and it was downhill from there. Given that the pounds no longer come off as easily as they used to, the time had come to figure out what I need to do in order to stay healthy and vibrant for myself and my loved ones.
Not long ago I scolded my dad to stop smoking and start taking care of himself. When he didn’t immediately oblige, I called him selfish. I laid on the “Jewish guilt” hard and thick because, after all, if he gets sick we children have to take care of him. If he chooses to get sick by being careless, that’s selfish and unfair.
So—I am publicly announcing that from today forward I will be very conscious of what I eat and how much I exercise. If I don’t take care of myself now, my kids will have to take care of me, which I do not find appealing. I want to be a “cool” grandma, not an old and sick one. For this to happen, I need to have a plan and stick to it.
If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you’re probably cringing just about now. Another plan??? Just how many plans, programs and guidelines do we need to adhere to? I say as many as possible, as long as the outcome is a positive one.
I call all of you to join me as I embark on the “health kick” at this special stage in my life. I will definitely need your support getting there.
Yours in good health,
Yana
At one time or another, we all have doubts, questions and concerns about our personal productivity. Most of us are overwhelmed by the responsibilities that we face daily. There are always errands to run, bills to pay, dinners to cook, lunches to make, children to worry about, and husbands or partners to attend to.
Ever since that milestone 40th birthday, it seems that time has been moving faster and faster. In order to slow down time, or at least increase my productivity, I decided to sit down and outline what is really important to me at the moment and what I should focus on.
By now, most of us know what we really want out of life. Yet, for some reason most of us don’t do much about it. As we get older, our priorities change, and I have found that taking the time to write down what’s most important can help to see the bigger picture—and usually a clearer one, too.
A few months ago, I watched a very powerful movie called “The Secret.” What is this secret and why didn’t I hear about it 20 years ago? It has to do with the “Law Of Attraction,” meaning that we attract what we think about. Thoughts become things, and every thought has a frequency. As a result, we consciously or unconsciously attract the energy around us.
Remember the old saying, “Be careful what you wish for?” Until I watched this wonderful movie, I couldn’t comprehend its true meaning. Now I completely understand that what we want and what we believe in is what we will become.
First and foremost, we need to write down our goals. Goals should be divided in two columns—immediate and future. Everyone should have goals in both categories.
Second, we need to prioritize. Prioritizing allows us to move forward and achieve success.
It’s all in the attitude. I barely stand 5’4”, and that’s on a good day. Yet, most people will tell you that I’m 5’6” or taller. Why? Because I come with the right attitude. If you’re positive, upbeat and happy, people will cling to you like bees on honey. Conversely, if you’re constantly down and miserable, no one will join your party.
Stay focused and track your progress. Set out your plan and follow it, but be realistic. If something doesn’t work, alter your plan and work through it.
Eliminate “failure” from your vocabulary. If something doesn’t work right away, view it as a stepping-stone to success rather than a permanent setback. Life has many lessons for us, and only when all of them are learned do we achieve what we set out to do. If it was easy, we wouldn’t appreciate our success.
Remove everything that interferes with your success. In other words, don’t give in to temptation or allow yourself to be distracted. If you can see it and feel it, you will own it.
Use the power of positive reinforcement. Five years ago, I would have laughed at this statement. Today I consider ongoing positive reinforcement (through self-help books, CD’s, DVD’s, tapes and positive surroundings) as the ticket to life-changing experiences.
Before going to sleep every night, think of all the wonderful things that happened to you during the day. Tell yourself that tomorrow will be a very good day.
Before getting out of bed in the morning, think of all the good things that will happen to you today.
Finally, remember that the first 30 minutes after waking should be very positive because they set the tone for the whole day. Think of how good your day will be if you sit down and write a few things that you would like to accomplish on that day. I usually write seven things that I want to achieve during the day, and when I lay down to sleep I usually smile to myself knowing that everything on that morning’s list got done. My day was a complete success—and tomorrow looks even better!
Cheers,
Yana
Wouldn't it be great to have all your holiday shopping completed by the end of Thanksgiving?
Obviously it's too late for that deadline. But if you start today, you can still get done in plenty of time and be on your way to enjoying a stress-free holiday season.
I love giving presents. In fact, I enjoy the whole process from picking a present to packaging and the actual delivery. But not everyone feels the same way. Over the years I have observed different patterns of behaviors among friends and family when it comes to gift giving for the holidays, birthdays and anniversaries.
This group struggles with the idea of what to get, and usually settles for the first thing they see. Their primary focus is to just to get the "chore" of gift giving out of the way.
These people typically spend money on useless things, with the idea that if the receiver does not like the present, he or she will exchange it for something else. Exchangers usually buy their gifts in department stores and include a gift receipt to make it easy to return the item.
These people buy presents that are not returnable. Then they package the present so that you would never know where it was purchased and would be too embarrassed to ask. Often, the present either goes to someone else you don't really care about or ends up in your storage (a definite no-no!).
Some people get so fed up with the process that they say, "To hell with it!" and stop giving gifts all together.
What do all four groups have in common? They all view gift giving as an unpleasant and distasteful task. However, if you fall into one on these categories, let me assure you that gift giving need not be a difficult process if it's thought out and planned ahead.
The biggest problem for most gift givers is the dilemma of the unknown—we don't know what to get for our loved ones. The following tips can help you choose the right gift each and every time:
?Pay attention to the details. If you're out shopping with a friend, notice the kinds of things she picks out for herself. This will give you some good ideas on what to get for the next present.
?Make it personal. Most of us are busy and stressed out from our daily activities. A gift certificate to the spa for a massage, pedicure or manicure is an easy and welcome gift.
?Be in tune with what's happening to the people around you. If a friend is going through some hardships and needs a "pick me up," an inspirational CD, DVD or book makes an excellent gift. Or, if someone has an interest in a hobby, craft or artistic endeavor but can't seem to get started, the gift of a private lesson may be just what they need to kick their creativity into gear.
My favorite gift is a gift basket, and I don't mean the kind with lumpy cheese and stale crackers. It's easy to put together a custom-made basket of goodies for your loved ones. All you have to do is buy the items and take them to a specialty store, where they will assemble the basket for you. If you don't have time to shop, you can order a basket by picking and choosing the items you like.
My favorite store is Adels II, in Encino California, where everything in the store is personalized. They have items for every age, price and category, so you can't go wrong. Most of us feel very special when we open a box to find our name or initials engraved on the present.
Another hit item is family photos that are framed or in the form of a calendar. These inexpensive gifts can be done at Kinkos or any other print shop. You can also do them online. To make the gift really memorable, arrange a private sitting with a photographer and have your photograph printed on canvas. It will look like a painted masterpiece and will be cherished for years to come.
a) Make a list of everyone that you would like to give a gift to.
b) Set a budget. Whether it costs $5 or $500, each gift has to be just as special (believe me, it can be).
c) Set a date by when this gift has to be purchased.
d) Visualize how it will be packaged and sent or delivered.
e) Place a checkmark by each person's name when their gift has been purchased. Place a second checkmark when the gift has been wrapped.
f) Review your list to see whether you have to deliver or send each gift. Not until the gift is sent or delivered can you cross the name off the list.
Finally, think how you would feel about receiving the gift. A beautifully packaged $5 Starbucks gift card with a warm greeting card will be more appreciated than a useless gift that never gets used.
When you put thought, time and love into your gift giving process, the person receiving the gift feels special and appreciated. After all, isn't that why we give gifts in the first place?
Cheers,
Yana
Are you feeling guilty again?..did you forget your loved
one's birthday, or you own anniversary?
You are now the star of every family gathering, they love
you because you made them feel special for remembering their precious occasion.
You feel good about yourself and now can pass your wisdom to others.
Throughout history, harvest festivals and thanksgiving celebrations were held by the ancient Greeks, the Romans, the Hebrews, the Chinese, and the Egyptians. Centuries later, we still gather with family and friends at this time of year to say a prayer and give thanks for the earth’s bountiful blessings.
Unfortunately, the many hours of slaving in the kitchen, preparing the house for the guests and getting everything organized often makes us tired, agitated and stressed out. By the time the guests arrive, we are too worn down and out of breath to enjoy the holiday and the company of the ones we love.
For many years, the above scenario described most of my Thanksgivings. In fact, every year I drove myself (and everyone else) to exhaustion with my elaborate preparations. Worse, the stress started long before any of the guests showed up at the door.
Each year we invited 23 people, because that’s how many could fit at our formal dining room table. And that’s where the stress started. Who should we invite this year? Who will get their feelings hurt because they weren’t invited? No matter whom we invited, it seemed that someone important always got left out.
After agonizing over those decisions, the invitations then had to be designed and mailed -- another time-consuming and stressful activity. God forbid I should entertain the idea of buying ready-made invitations! No, they had to be custom designed and printed in order to be good enough for my family and friends. And of course the house had to be decorated and spotlessly cleaned.
I always began cooking three days ahead because I insisted on preparing everything from scratch, including the bread and chocolate truffles. For some reason it was not permissible to buy a loaf of the best bread or ready-made dough. Even with all the advance preparations, when Thursday arrived I was up at 5 a.m. and in the kitchen scrambling to get all the food cooked and ready to go. By the time our guests arrived at 5 pm., I was ready to tell them all off and go to sleep.
That’s when the real fun began! Someone needed this drink or that juice, this spice or that seasoning, or some other stupid thing that wasn’t on the table. I ran around in circles trying to be the perfect hostess, and when the guests finally departed, my husband and I cleaned for 24 hours.
When it was all over, the only thing I was thankful for was that I didn’t have to do it again for another 12 months!
This went on for many years, until after one particularly hectic Thanksgiving feast my husband announced that he had had enough. “From now on,” he proclaimed, “we will no longer be in town for Thanksgiving. Instead, we will celebrate this wonderful holiday somewhere outside of the country.” (That way, I would not get any ideas.)
Being an obedient wife, I obliged. My husband took the matter into his hands and we now spend every Thanksgiving weekend in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Some years our parents and friends join us; other years it’s just the six of us. We eat whole grilled fish instead of turkey, and everyone has a grand, stress-free time.
Now, I’m not suggesting that you ditch your family and friends and run away to Mexico. But ladies, please, the time has come to stop stressing ourselves out over this or any other holiday.
If you insist on staying home and cooking, make it easy on yourself. If you haven’t already heard, many grocery stores offer whole complete Thanksgiving dinners ready to go. You simply tell them how many people you need to feed and they do all the cooking for you. All you have to do is drive to the store and pick everything up on Thanksgiving Day.
If you still want to cook, don’t be afraid to cut a few corners. Buy the loaf of bread at your local bakery. No one will notice that you didn’t make it yourself. Use Pepperidge Farm ready-made stuffing and cranberry sauce in a can. If you’re making the turkey, marinate it ahead of time and place it in the fridge. Try to do as much as possible in advance so that you have nothing to do except put things in the oven on the actual day. That way, you can spend more time decorating your feast than actually cooking it.
Before your guests arrive, take a nap for 20 minutes, followed by a hot shower. Do your make up, hair and nails, and please remember why everyone is coming over. This is a holiday in which we give thanks for the things we have and the people around us. Let’s enjoy our family and friends and look forward to the next year.
Warning
This “laid-back” approach may not appeal to anyone younger than 40. (Like I said in my last article, wisdom comes slowly.) But if you’re looking for a more joyful and less stressful Thanksgiving holiday, it just might work for you.
Cheers, Yana
Everyone likes to feel special—it’s part of our human nature! Why not develop a personal system that remembers birthdays, family and friends wedding anniversaries and a schedule that sends holiday cards on time, every year, so that the process is fun, rather than, a dreaded experience!.
Friends and acquaintances are amazed by my ability to remember everyone’s birthday or anniversary—some cannot believe that I actually have these dates written down. The days of having the ability to remember what I had for breakfast yesterday are long past (“Al” Alzheimer and I are becoming faster than I want friends these days!).. I do, however make it a point to remember and record those significant dates when I meet new acquaintances . I record a person’s birthday and mailing/email address into my Pocket PC phone device, which I later sync with my computer at home.
In the days before computers, that kind of recording was transferred year-to-year ,by hand, into my “little black book”, and honestly , I miss those times. If, for some reason you forgot a birthday, you at least had the excuse that you did not glance at your Day Timer. Now the cell phone will ring, the computer will have pop-up menus, and unless one is visually and auditory-impaired, there is no excuse TODAY!
When my first child was born, I decided that I would send a holiday card, along with her photograph, every year to all of my family and friends. My husband thought I was a bit crazy and he would say, “ . . . besides, no one appreciates all your hard work and effort,” but I strongly disagreed. Almost twenty years later (and equal number of holiday cards delivered), I can only say that as my immediate circle of family and friends grew, so too did the number of holiday cards in my mailbox. Most of my family and friends thought it was a great idea to keep in touch and they too, reciprocated by sending photographs of their growing family. And “God forbid . . . ” someone did not receive a holiday card—I would never hear the end of it!
Many years ago I designed a system for sending holiday cards on time which included the participation of the entire family. I have refined this system over the years, and by doing so I no longer have to worry about being late and stressed. Everyone of my four children remind me in November that we need to discuss the design and place the order for our cards. A few years ago, they not only ordered them, but they began designing the cards themselves—in other words they took over the process and were proud of their work—I was too! As a matter of fact, that is how my son became computer savvy—he had no choice in the matter. Each year I wanted a “unique” card, and each year ended up being better than the prior one. I certainly did not want to pay top prices for someone else to design it when I had the recourses right at home! My son’s only alternative was to learn how to work the graphs of his computer.
I promise you that if you follow these simple steps, the holiday card writing process will be very easy and rewarding for everyone in the family—it is a great activity for all ages!
Please keep in mind that Chanukah has different date of celebration every year, some times it is as early as the first week of December, because the celebration lasts eight days even if you mail out your cards on the 7th of December you will still be on time.
Decide as a family if you are going to use a group photograph on your holiday card. If so, make sure you take that picture no later than during the Thanksgiving break—the children are homework free and are spending lots of time at home.
You are now ready to send you cards, so why are they not sealed? Well, it is only December 6th, if you are sending your cards for Christmas you have at least two weeks to get them sent out on time. What if someone had something special happen to them from the time that you addressed the card? Or what if that someone became sick, or is feeling blue? Built into this system is flexibility to add, at the last minute, words of encouragement and care.
When you seal each card (a chore that your children or grandchildren love doing), make sure to place the second check mark on the printed sheet, with the names and addresses, just to make sure that you have addressed, stamped, & sealed each card. Now, go deliver them to the post office!
Buying cards in bulk is a real score. Whenever I see a nice box of “Thank You”, “Birthday” or “Anniversary” cards, I buy few boxes at a time. And always remember to have plenty of stamps on hand either in a roll of 100’s or in decorative sheets.
Costco sells card sets for $15.00 dollars, and hand-made varieties for every occasion. This is a great value, and the cards are awesome!
I do not send a birthday card to everyone in my address book. Just like most of us we are all too busy. However, there are a few people in life that deserve some recognition. For those in that “special” category I take the time, placing “life” on hold for 5 minutes, and write a hand-written wish for them on their birthday or anniversary.
To do this, print your calendar on the first of each month. Select the ones that will receive cards, address them, write you wishes, place a sticker on which day the card has to be mailed, but again, do not seal the card. Remember, anything can happen between the 1st of the month to the time that you go to the post office.. This way a few special lines can be added to your greeting without having to re-write the card.
On the correct day mail the card (allow for 2 days for local delivery and 5 days for across the country), and call on the day of the birthday or anniversary. Guaranteed you will not only make their day, but yours as well!
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