I'm always thrilled to get emails and messages from our members asking me to address certain topics. I like it even more when those emails address the same issues that I struggle with.  

Recently one of our members asked me, "How do I handle my menopause and my kids' puberty at the same time?" I couldn't help but laugh, but I immediately sat down to write this article.

Lucky for me, my children all went through puberty before I turned 40. But that's not to say that our hormonal roller coaster didn't go off its tracks on more than several occasions. Plus, puberty is only the beginning; the teenage years are much more intense.

There are plenty of books written on the subject, and they are all full of "expert" advice on how to parent our children. However, before taking advice from anyone, I always ask if they have children of their own. Giving advice and living through the issues are two very different things.

I do not claim to be an expert in parenting, nor do I hold a degree in psychology. But I did raise four kids who turned out fairly normal and seem to be well-grounded. I believe that we as parents can do our very best but it also helps to be lucky.  

So here are some pointers that worked for me during my kids' puberty and teenager years:

1.First and most important, your children need to be aware that while you both have issues with hormones, yours are older and stronger. Hence, you win. ?

2.Be consistent. When you say "no," mean it! Don't change your mind two days later because you feel guilty or because it's more convenient to let your child off the hook.

3.Constantly reinforce right from wrong and explain your reasoning behind it.

4.Focus on what's important. Don't sweat the small stuff.

5.Allow for family time. If you can have dinners every night as a family, great. If not, do it as often as possible.  

6.Demonstrate the importance of family by being there for your parents, grandparents and other family members. Have your teens spend time with their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. If you don't teach them when they're young, they won't like doing it as adults.

7.Don't allow yourself to feel guilty.

8.Never try to make your children feel guilty.

9.Remind yourself and your children that you are a parent first and a friend second.

10.Demand respect and have consequences.

I freely admit that I come from "old school" parenting. My mom didn't hesitate to ground me, spank me, or even now in my 40's call me out if I get out of line. Emulating my parents, I've done the same with my kids.  

When my son was 16, he came home from school one day with a rotten attitude. I was not having a great day either, and consequently had a short fuse. To be honest, my fuse was always shorter than my kids', but that kept them in line and on their toes.  

My son said something to me that was rude and inappropriate (in my opinion). I turned around and slapped him. He looked at me with fire in his eyes but didn't say anything.  Seeing his look, I asked, "What?"

With an angry voice he replied, "I wish I could talk back!"  

"Why don't you," I inquired.

He responded with, "What, am I an idiot?"

That's when I knew my husband and I were doing something right.

Hello Ladies,

Instant chat has been implemented and is now live on our site.

If you don’t see it already, it’s probably cached and will appear on your screen in about four hours.  

On the right hand bottom corner of your screen you will see a small window named “Meebo” within that window you will see everyone that is on your friends list. Everyone that is online at the moment are the people you can chat with instantly.  

It will take few days for everyone to come up to speed, but it’s what my kids will call a “very cool feature”

We no longer have to refresh our inbox to see if we got a message, instead we can just chat instantaneously.

Happy Tuesday everyone.

Yana

The Puppy Paradigm

Women have always had a penchant for small, furry (preferably baby) creatures, but animals of any age can easily capture the attention of the fairer sex. Many of us will eagerly stop to pet a puppy that crosses our path, regardless of who the dog is with. Hence, the familiar scenario of the not-so-good-looking man and his dog getting swarmed with female attention and smiles.  

Most women will attest that it's not the man that we're seeking. Yet, almost invariably we get caught up in conversation with the owner. And although the conversation usually begins with puppies, it often ends with an exchange of some kind of personal information, sometimes even a phone number. Romance and dating seemingly have no connection to dogs and their relationships with their masters, so why such success in creating human hook-ups? What is it about pets that bring people together?

One reason might be that from day one dog owners sign up for a lifetime of love and commitment to their hairy mates, and we find this is attractive. A monogamous relationship requires full commitment and a dedication to take the other person's needs into account when considering your own.  Dating and relationships are often made much more difficult for these reasons alone.  

And while we all know that many men and women have a problem with commitment, dog owners do not. Their devotion, love and desire to care for a four-legged companion indicates a certain ability to tend to the needs of another, even if it is an animal. It also indicates a willingness to take responsibility for whatever unexpected events or problems come along with the companion. Caring for an animal demonstrates maturity and consistency, and as most women can tell you, those are two qualities we definitely look for in a man.    

Or maybe it's simpler than that. Maybe it's just that cute creature = attention grabbing, regardless of the leash holder. Stealing a few minutes of the undivided love and affection that dogs give is often more than enough to approach a homely master and put up with the obligatory small talk. The topics of relationships, dating and love may never come up during the small talk. But the possibility that they will is substantially increased by the fact that the conversation would never have taken place without the presence of a dog.

Love and dating can be a messy and painful part of life, and romantic relationships are often short-lived. In contrast, a relationship with a dog overflows with love and adoration and withstands the test of time.  Dogs don't require nights filled with romance and passion, but they can create situations that help people find love and happiness within their own species.  

Could it be that we are looking for love in all the wrong places while our prince charming is sitting at Starbucks with a puppy on his lap?

Enter Our Contest  

Katie Couric, CBS News reports that there's a saying in the Marine Corps: pain is weakness leaving the body.

Physical pain is hard to endure in silence, and maybe it's not necessary.
A new study at Keele University in England with more than sixty participants asked that they soak their hands in ice cold water while repeating their favorite curse word. Participants were asked to repeat this exercise with their other hand using words that are kid friendly. Amazingly enough every time they cursed they were able to endure cold for just a bit longer.

Listen to this one-minute video that gives us permission to cuss next time we stub our toe or burn our hand while cooking.

Several weeks ago my girlfriend was traveling to Vegas on Midwest Airlines. To her great surprise a man was boarding the plane with a dog.  

After exchanging a few words with the boarding passenger, she was appalled to find out that the furry animal weighing at least 40 pounds and carrying his own ticket would be sitting next to her.

She left the boarding line to call me to vent. After listening to her rant all I could say was, "from now on Midwest Airlines will be my first option to fly". Not finding my response funny, nor sensing any sympathy in my voice, she told me that I and the "others" have lost our minds with our love for dogs. She went on to tell me that it isn't right to make other passengers on the plane share a cabin with animals, and bla? bla? bla?.

When she hung up I couldn't help but have mixed feelings. Sure I love my little Stoli, and when I want to travel I expect the airlines to accommodate me. I even expect my friends to welcome me with open arms in their homes if I chose to bring my little bundle of joy, but is that really fair?

Sure you can blame it on America's pet obsession but we are no different than other countries that embraced animals everywhere, even inside restaurants. And can you really blame the airlines for trying to capitalize on the trend?

Midwest Airlines may be much more lenient with their pet policies than other airlines, but to stay in competition with air travel even Southwest Airlines who were among the last to jump on the bandwagon of allowing dogs on the plane are now doing so with dogs under 20 lbs.

Airlines transport hundreds of thousands of pets in cargo each year, but most pet owners consider this a cruel and unusual punishment and choose either to leave their pets at home or forgo flying all together.

Federal Aviation Administration doesn't post restrictions on whether animals can be in the cabin area, however, airlines must allow service dogs for the disabled on board. The cost of flying your pet can range from $75 to nearly $300 each way. It's a hefty price to pay, but when you love your dog, you will at least consider it, and some of us will even buy the ticket and contribute to the airlines. Some airlines are even letting you rack up frequent flier miles for your pet.  

Midwest Airline offers a fourth trip free to your pet after three flights. JetBlue and Continental offers pets miles on the pet owners account.

So what about all the people who have allergies? Or who don't want to travel with pets on board? Frontier Airlines is their answer. Last year Frontier banned pets from the cabin area after officials said pet allergies are common among travelers.

So back to my mixed feelings and a question at hand, "Is it fair to other passengers?" The answer is probably no, but airlines are trying to make a buck, and animal lovers are enjoying the ride. Unless more people like my girlfriend are going to have a fit and complain, we will all need to get used to sharing a seat next to a furry animal. The good news is they will not be chewing our food- after all the cut backs airlines are no longer serving meals.

What do you think? Would you have a problem flying with a dog that isn't yours next to a seat near you?

The topic of conversation among my girlfriends this weekend was sex. Lets just say some of us still blush when this topic comes up. I'm always amazed how easy it is for some to talk about intimacy, and how it's completely impossible for others. I learned a thing or two this weekend, and thought I'd share them with you.

Men Have Headaches Too:

Let's face it, aligning libido high's amongst spouses is like finding a TV channel you mutually agree upon.

Nearly half of women over 40 experience a lowered libido, and half experience higher!  

Biologists are now talking about "andropause" or ADAM (Androgen Deficiency of the Aging Male)?a testosterone drop in men over 40 that lowers libido.  

So what's a girl supposed to do when her man isn't ready to roll?  Sniffle quietly and pine away like the old days when asking for some lovin' didn't require a verbal request?  Absolutely NOT.  

There are some more subtle clues that will help you and your man get in the groove.  

1. Seduce him with music- Barry White's voice will even get a dead man in the mood.  

2. Sexy lingerie, sex toys,  candles from Cindy Lou,  Chocolates from Cynthia,  and before you know it, he's all over you.  

3. If 1 or 2 do not work, off to doctor for the blue pill he goes.  

If You Can't Fake It, Bake It:

You know those days when the hormones are out of whack (right along with your kids and your boss), and you are looking forward to a quiet evening at home, only to find out that your better half is waiting for you with a drink and a smile on his face with high hopes.  

Artificially getting in the mood still counts, regardless of whether or not the stimulation getting you there is sexual or cognitive. One of my girlfriends managed to convince her husband to bake with her by persuading him that the therapeutic way of cooking along with comfort of sharing the desert afterwards was way more sexual than any intercourse.

I also found out about EdenFantasys.com   where you can learn from others, share your experiences and re-discover sex! They have a welcoming and warm community with an abundance of inspiring resources, forums, contributor reviews along with online adult shopping... and for those of us that are still blushing this may just be the next big thing! Got to love girlfriends.