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Sex At Forty Allows You To Rediscover Yourself

By Sharon Bell

Many women are surprised whenever they are asked about their sexual appetite. There are those who think that sex issues are a personal matter, while there are some who think that talking about one’s sexual interest is embarrassing or immoral, even downright gross. But talking about a woman’s sex drive is important in knowing the changes that have or will occur in her body when she reaches the age of forty and above.  

It’s no secret that women experience perimenopause and menopause at some point in their lives. During these stages, there are so many changes that can happen to you. And it is not all about mood swings, weight gain, irritability, and hot flashes. A very important aspect of your life that will be affected by menopausal symptoms is your libido and ignoring this fact may lead to problems in your relationships and physicality.  

So instead of being embarrassed in a corner and trying to be silent about the declining sex drive you are experiencing as you reach the age of forty, you should come out in the open and know what is really happening to your body, more importantly to your sexual appetite. At this age, sex has become a more important issue.  

Sex Drive And Lifestyle Changes  

Many experts say that your declining libido is brought about by changes in your lifestyle and social environment. They analyzed that the menopausal stage coincides with that period in a woman’s life where her priorities have changed. Menopausal stage is a time in which all your responsibilities of bearing children are over, your focus now lies in rearing teenager kids, taking care of your aging parents, climbing the top of the corporate ladder or taking a bigger role in your society, like running for president.  

In short, your menopausal stage is a time in which you may have more stress. In the middle of all these tensions, you are likely to find sex as unimportant. And so your sex drive will be on the downturn.  

Sex Drive And Hormonal Changes

While the lifestyle and environmental factors mentioned above may contribute to the lessening of your sexual appetite, they are not the main reasons behind your loss of libido. In truth, your loss of sexual appetite has something to do with the changes in your body that occurs when perimenopause or menopause kicks in.

The shifts in your hormonal levels can severely affect your sex drive. The same factor that brings you all the symptoms of menopause has been found to jeopardize your sex life at forty. But research has shown that putting your hormones back into balanced levels can bring back your libido and eliminate other menopausal symptoms too.  

Taking hormone replacements and eating foods that can simulate or replace lost hormones is your first step in bringing back your sexual desires. Next, try to go beyond your physical aspects if you want to be feistier in bed. Check your relationship with your partner because how you connect with each other emotionally can make or break your sex drive. Above all, you might also want to improve the way that you look at yourself; if you think that you have an unattractive body, you will certainly have inhibitions which can pull down your sexual appetite.

The Need For Sex Drive

Sex has been proven to improve one’s outlook in life and overall health. It allows the production of certain beneficial hormones. And it is also an effective way to take away stress. More importantly, sex is vital in strengthening your relationship with your husband or partner and therefore in reinforcing your family as a whole.

So instead of giving up, you should find a way to rediscover yourself and reignite your passion in bed. Come to think of it, sex during this stage can be more exciting. For one there is no more risk of having unwanted pregnancy; and chances are, you and your husband will have the house for yourselves for most of the time.  

Aside from hormone replacements and proper diet, you can use supplements like Fematril to help bring back your sexual appetite. For more information about this product, visit  

Author’s Bio

Sharon Bell is an avid health and fitness enthusiast and published author. Many of her insightful articles can be found at the premiere online news magazine 

Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Goldenapple wrote Aug 7, 2008
    • I think the article looks at only one side of the picture. More than women there are men who lose their sexual appetite after 40 and it is not easy for the men to gain it back. The men I am talking about are those who have stress related issues like hypertension or other related problems that force them to depend on drugs that over a period of time reduce and completely stop the hormones and chemicals responsible for sex drive. In addition to problems like hypertension there are so many other factors that can reduce sex drive in men, like smoking for that matter. Considering this, it is quite hard to find men who are sexually active after the age of 40 and this is not by choice. What do you suggest for wives of such men?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Maria Louise Van Deuson wrote Oct 23, 2008
    • My gynecologist told me that the number one complaint of women who are menopausal is the lack of sex drive. Couple THAT with their men taking Viagra and wanting to have hours of hot sex, and these poor women can't and don't want to do it!
      Unfortunately, women can't take Viagra. There isn't a simple pill for women who have diminished hormones that lead to loss of libido. There's also the very SERIOUS issue of discomfort with intercourse. The hormonal changes also cause thinness of the vaginal walls and vaginal dryness. I went from having a very high sex drive to having virtually none at all. Couple that with the problem of not yet finding an adequate solution to thinning walls, and dryness) which have made intercourse quite uncomfortable and often painful for me. My doc has offered to give me a prescription for testosterone, but 1) it will deepen my voice (I'm a singer), 2) I could gain weight (I've worked hard to lose the 25 of 39 lbs I've gained over the last 10 years since I started menopause at 38 years of age), and 3) I could either lose hair or grow hair (in places I'm sure that would NOT be convenient or desirable).
      I don't know if I buy into the 'experts blaming declining libido on changes in lifestyle and ones social environment.' I argue that the changes are because we've aged past the reproductive years, and our hormones are quickly disappearing. The 'menopausal stage' is OF COURSE a time when bearing children is 'over' because we become non-reproductive based on the lack of these essential female hormones. The lack of female hormones have been a MAJOR factor for me for 10 years now. I argue that the 'social factors' mentioned are a correlation, and correlations can't be proven. The effect of reduced female hormones CAN be proven!
      I don't agree that the menopausal stage is 'a time in which you may have more stress.' That statement is a generalization. Generalizing for an entire population is not a good idea. In fact for me (and I think some other women too) I WANT sex 'in the middle of all these tensions' because sex is a WONDERFUL stress reducer!
      Show ME the statistics for this statement:
      "...taking hormone replacements and eating foods that can simulate or replace lost hormones is your first step in bringing back your sexual desires." I've tried every homeopathic known to man and HRT and it has not made any difference in my sex drive. It however DID lessen the vaginal dryness, but had no effect on libido whatsoever.
      I agree about working the emotional relationship with ones partner. For some women, sex is as mental as it is physical and an emotional connection with ones sex partner is key.
      Yeah, 'if you think that you have an unattractive body, you will certainly have inhibitions which can pull down your sexual appetite.' That is NOT my problem. I workout 4-6 days a week and look very good for my age, but it has not helped my sex drive. Physical exercise does make one look and feel better and can possibly help some women feel sexier.
      Was this article an advertisement for Fematril? I've not tried this product, but at this point I'm willing to try anything that has good reviews and this product has gotten good reviews (although it apparently can take up to six months to notice the results).

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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Kendall Rosekilly wrote Oct 25, 2008
    • I just feel with my new found weight gain and lack of body confidence that I dont want to have sex!

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