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!!Wake- up America!  

Denial seems to be the number one past time of Americans today...especially the women of the United States! Not only do many women deny that they are in Mid-life Crisis...they deny that they could ever become addicted to the Internet, WHICH they use as a tool in the Crisis itself! Let's not forget the complete denial about being victimized by a predator...OH! NO! Heaven Forbid!

Last week I posted an article on several women's social networking sites on Internet Addiction and Mid-life Women which was met with such surprise and amazement that I would even suggest that women could or would allow themselves to become addicted to the internet. The shock was followed by complete denial of the problem existing to the degree that I had stated through research, which I received from Michael Shelby, one of the top experts and authorities on Internet/Virtual addiction in our country. These women could accept the fact that women could over-do their activity at women’s social networks or Facebook...but the fact that I was suggesting that there is a secret community created just for married women who wanted to cheat was completely beyond these women's comprehension! Many women couldn't fathom the idea that there are predators on Facebook, My Space, Twitter, AIM or SKYPE!

When [Link Removed] were directly attributing the breakdown of their marriages to Internet activity or on-line affairs....which had then moved into actual physical affairs or addictive behaviors that led to their wives losing their high level jobs.  

Less than a year ago at my forum, we were not necessarily concerned about a woman's internet activity other than IF she had a profile at one or more of the many singles dating sites or at one of the High School reunion sites. Many women in MLC will create a profile at these sites to test the waters to see if anyone thinks that they are still attractive, personable, sexy or not. Early on these women are looking for an innocent "self-esteem massage" or a re-connect with an old boyfriend. Why? Most women in MLC are lacking in their ability to think clearly, wanting to escape the lives that they think is dragging them down...wanting a fantasy...their boundaries are blurred or non-existent...they are caught up in their roles as wives, mothers and caretakers...they have lost the woman of long ago before these roles sucked the life out of them. Women in MLC are on a quest...a mission of sorts to find who they are in the grand scheme of life...they dip in to the past...they reach out to a stranger...they convince themselves that it is safe and innocent. They are in their own is just on the is harmless!  

Some women are not necessarily looking for the just happens! All it takes is a few men liking, winking at or tagging their profile picture or befriending them with a "looking for attention" phishing e-mail or wall post...or even the innocent Facebook/AIM/Google/SKYPE Pop-up Chat window saying "Hey, How are you?". Before these women know it, they are telling a male stranger their whole life story and the guy is giving them the "self-esteem massage" that a woman didn't even know they were really looking for...eventually becoming sexual and even asking for a meet-up.

Danger! Danger! Will Robinson!  

The Craig's List Killer should prove to every woman, whether addicted or not, they should be very careful about who they befriend, chat or e-mail. Please don't come back with "I am not advertising erotic massage with like the girl that was killed."...YOU are advertising something...You are advertising that you are needy and you have your guard are willing to take a risk on someone or something that you know nothing about. The rules we set for our children about talking with strangers over the internet go for the women of the world also.  

What makes a woman think that there isn't a predator out there looking for them also?

What makes a woman think that that gorgeous guy with the six-pack abs and tan is real and out chatting up all the ladies on the web and if he is...what makes them think that the guy isn't a player, user, and a gigolo?


Remember, "Looking for Mr. Goodbar"

Well, Mr. Goodbar has moved to the web and he isn't Richard Gere!  

He's a dumpy 37 year old guy, who lives in his mother's basement playing video/internet games all day because he lost his job at WalMart six months ago...or even a married man with four kids, a wife, house, job and car who's out for the same escape that you are....OR...he could be someone like the Craig's List Killer, but he is not looking for a massage or money!  

Now, at this point I would like to bring up a comment by one woman after my first article on this topic...the woman said I was generalizing on the topic...and maybe in that article I was...because I was introducing the topic and how I dealt with it at my forum. I was testing the waters and using the article as a promotion for the BTR interview that was coming up. The article was primarily written for the men of women in MLC, yet reworked so women could benefit from the information. I felt it was a topic that women should contemplate, aware of and know that they are not immune to the dangers of the Internet or the fact that they too could become addicted. I still feel strongly about the subject and I hope continue to write and research on it.  

All I ask is... Please don't deny the existence of Internet Addiction and dangers...that the women who are on the internet take note of the warning could save you a lot of struggle, pain, hurt may save your marriage, your family and may even save your life!

Shepherdess5, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.


Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Apr 25, 2009
    • Thx for the article. I read the last one and honestly gave no thought to predators or addiction. But as I look back on things I have friends who have completely disrupted their lives for someone they met online.

      I will keep your post in the back of my mind and be more aware of my time spent and what I do on here.

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Hollybuchanan wrote Apr 25, 2009
    • Fascinating article.

      I’m doing a research project right now on why moms blog (there are record numbers of moms starting blogs, many of which are read by huge audiences).

      One common theme I hear is guilt that the Internet takes time away from their family and kids.

      My question is, when is it really not that big of a deal, and then, at what point, does it become a true addiction that really does cause family harm.

      Are there any warning signs to look out for?

            Report  Reply