QUICK!!!!....Run and look out your window, and then hurry back and squeeze butt back into your computer chair again. Okay....what did you see?? I'll tell ya what you saw....fat people....and lots of em! They are everywhere. We are now a large society and the term melting pot now has more to do with fondue than people. I went to the mall Saturday, and have not seen that much stretched jean material and stressed elastic in my whole life. It was like waiting for someone to explode! The food court look like something from "Shark Week" on TV. Considering my own rotund physique and then walking down the mall in close proximity with others of my kind, I felt like I was part of the migratory march of western Bison!

     As I walked by Victoria’s Secret, I looked at the display window and saw a huge over stuffed beast of a person that looked like they had been greased with Crisco and slipped into sausage tube pants....then I realized it was my own reflection in the friggin window! God! I have always been a big guy, but in the last few years I’ve redefined the word “big” by adding XX after it! It’s just called FAT! I won’t accept the word obese because that sounds too much like the name of some mauling creature in a Japanese movie.

     I don’t dislike chunky challenged people, or anything like that....I just get angry at all of us for what we allow ourselves to become....“Super Size It“, give you a hint? That name also applies to the clothes we have to buy to cover our expanse. I know, it’s a gland disorder....salivary glands.

     When I go to the Chinese buffet, Yang Lo and his family always hide the crab legs and shrimp as soon as they see me walk in, which is bad because when I’m pissed I tend to eat more! My biggest problem is just getting off my ass and exercising and cutting back on sweets, fats, starches, beer, pork skins and Hooter’s hot wings. If I could eliminate all that, then it would leave me with only two food groups....bark and fur!

     Wifey has picked up a few pounds, but she’s still a petite large....right hon? Well, summer's about here and the cornucopias barbeques with slabs of meat slathered in rich sweet spicy sauce, buckets of potato salad, troughs of baked beans and caldrons of home made peach ice cream. Not to forget the kegs of beer. I’m not sure how I’m going to ration the 10,000 calories I usually ingest during these open air banquets, but maybe I'll start preparing myself now by only eating foods like celery, carrots, acorns and pine cones....maybe.

****ANYONE SENDING ME SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT WILL BE FLAGGED, BANNED AND LIED ABOUT!!

                                                                       Chunky Charlie