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Ten Ways To Know When Your Relationship With Money Needs a Tune-up  

1. You worry that you'll be a bag lady even though you have money in a retirement fund and your finances are in good shape.

2. You can't control credit and your debt equals more than 20% of your net income.

3.  You habitually buy what you don't need.

4.  You can't bring yourself to spend money.

5. You obsess about money to the exclusion of other more important matters.

6. You feel confused about money and believe everyone else but you understands it.

7. You don't have your own bank account – checking or savings – or keep your money separately from his  because it feels disloyal.

8. You hide your spending from your husband, family, or others.

9. You feel you have to justify spending money on yourself.  

10. You think that money is "a man's business."

 Ten Ways To Improve Your Relationship With Money.

1. . Make realistic agreements with money about what it can do and what it can't.

2. Understand that money is no substitute for love, status,  self-esteem, or feelings of aliveness

3. Create an actual balance sheet to determine whether your problems with money are real or perceived.  

4. Have an imaginary conversation with  money and  focus on who's listening – your mother, your father, your ex-spouse, or other powerful person in your life.

5. Be aware of how underlying conflicts in relationships about power, love and equity in are acted out in financial roles – overspender vs. hoarder, avoider vs. worrier, for instance.

6. If you've just gotten a windfall,  inherited money or  collected in a divorce settlement, do nothing with it for at least six months.    

7. Never go shopping when you're bored, depressed or lonely.

8. Take a financial fitness class or workshop.

9.  Know the difference between financial poverty and poverty thinking – thoughts and attitudes that hold you back from dealing successfully with money.

10.  If you're missing the tools to manage your financial affairs, see a financial planner.  If you're missing self-esteem,  or feeling out of control about money, consult a therapist.

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