Our planet is governed by two inexplicable forces. The first is gravity and the second is sex. My blog is not about gravity, as that is a liberal myth, where as sex, on the other hand, is not! Sex controls all principles and laws of life and nature. From the migrating salmon of Alaska to the parking lot of the Bunny Hutch in Vegas. It is a bewildering force and few have ever escaped it's sensual and demanding tentacles.

     Relationships, (nice sterile word) are conducted under ancient and proven guide lines. The woman always declares an imaginary line at first between her and the man. He is warned not to cross that line of sexual abstinence under any pretense. The woman then patiently waits for knucklehead to cross the line anyway and then rewards him for the border violation. Women know men can't help it! Men have two fundamental obsessions: their egos and libidos. One tends to make them look like an ass, whereas the other has them out looking for it.

     Women know and understand men a lot better than even men know themselves. Women might be able to fake orgasms, as I've heard rumored, but, men can fake an entire friggin relationship! She knows this. She knows men have sex on their minds 90% of the time, (75% during football season), and this cerebral condition will never change. To a man, 'sex' has never been the answer, but, the question! 'Yes' is always the answer. One track mind that’s connected to the groin outlet. An intelligent man, (one who is over 40), knows having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand. These realities are quiet and sobering as a man ages.

     Men know that older women are more adaptive to his needs and that both sexes, having a few years behind them, are equal in their tendencies to yawn and pass gas during copulation. During his lifetime he has learned that the only good girls are bad girls that never got caught. Finding miss perfect had always been a bogus treasure hunt in the wilderness of bars, spas, the work place and the internet. Even in the event of finding 'miss perfect' that enhances and augments his life and career, to often he fails. True, behind every successful man there is usually a woman, but, behind the fall and devastation of a successful man you will most likely find a second woman. This is as true as alimony. True.....middle age can bring on these dilemmas.

     The final debate as who is the better sex? This changes during their lifetime with age. Women start out the smarter, but just give up in the end and pretend 'Bozo' is a genius. The final observation is women will never be equal to men until they can walk down any street with a comb-over and a beer gut, and still think they're sexy.

     A final thought on sex....if, after all this, you still feel that sex is just a pain in the ass....then you‘re doing it all wrong.

Charlie