As I passed through my fifties, I was totally astonished to see what was happening in the lives of various women who I knew quite well, in one way or another. Each one was affected in some way, by their children having children of their own.

Some of them were totally thrilled and excited about being active participants in the lives of the new families. Others were extremely negative, stating that they had already raised their own children and had to raise their grandchildren too, so that their own children could do the things that they wanted to do.  

Yet others were very angry and upset, as they were being totally excluded from the families, for one reason or another.  

Some of the families had moved away. Some of the grandmothers were able to visit their children and grandchildren, while for others, it was not possible.    

At the heart of this entire scenario, is motherly love.  

This raises the question of “Who is the benefactor and who is the beneficiary?” in a love relationship like this.

Let’s take it one step further.  

A child puts his or her hand into a mother’s hand. Both love and trust are central in this relationship. At some point in time, the child grows up and like a little bird who has to fly, learns how to use its new wings. It flies away. The next thing you know, there is another nest of little birds.  

Where does that leave the mother bird, or maybe we should say, the grandmother bird?          

A mother bestows love on her child, but is shocked to realize that the relationship between them, has become different in some way. She still loves her child.  

Who is the benefactor? Who is the beneficiary of this love?  

Sometimes it is really hard to tell, isn’t it?