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As a body image coach and mentor, the subject of weight is pretty common among my students–some are overweight, some are underweight, and some are struggling with their weight – even if it's perfect (as far as the numbers are concerned).  There's an irony, huh? That there could be a "perfect" weight anywhere in our society. The truth is that we are fed lies upon lies about "perfect" body image and perfect weight, and we eat them and STARVE on the inside while growing larger and larger on the outside.

What comes with the excess weight is often a myriad of challenging health issues. I don't need to list what they are – many of you are probably dealing with them as you read this.  And so, we treat the illnesses.  We take cholesterol medicine and insulin and blood pressure medicine – not to mention what all of this does to our spirits, our emotions, and confidence and our self-esteem.  Yes, food addiction and excess weight are the soil from which grows much heartache.


The following story once happened to a dear client of mine and I am sharing it to demonstrate how important it is to take care of yourself to avoid situations like this. As we all know, addiction is a family disease, and watching my client, heal and lead her family into a different kind of life has been an enormous privilege.  I've watched her learn self-love and make BIG changes and TOUGH choices.  I've watched her struggle to set boundaries and stop taking care of everyone around her – but not herself.  

One issue her family has dealt with is diabetes and heart disease, and her husband has faced the possibility of losing one of his legs at the very young age of forty-nine.  The family had been put on a roller coaster of insanity – moving from healthcare team to healthcare team and told that the only option was a radical and invasive arterial bypass on his leg.  Although they had great misgivings, her husband was prepared to go forward with the operation, and after five weeks of preparations, literally the day before the surgery was to take place, his surgeon decided that the risk factors were simply too great to go forward.

In shock and disbelief, my client called me at home and said, "Laura, they literally told him to lose weight and then basically shoved him out the door."  

Wow.  That is, unfortunately, a snapshot of what often happens in the medical field and too many of us have similar stories.  Many, many times, there is simply a gap – a disconnect – between the obvious implications of weight on everyday health, and the reality of connecting the self-care and well being as a curative path to ending obesity.  Too often we forget that not everything can be fixed. It is up to our everyday decisions to keep us healthy.

This is a message that I have carried for over two decades, and one that gratefully, finally is becoming embraced more and more.  In fact, it is more than a passion to me – it is a mission.  And it is one that I am blessed to share with client after client, and ever-growing audiences at seminars and teleclasses  

The most basic tenet of the TRUTH about weight loss is this:  One cannot hate their body AND simultaneously create healthy change. These two things simply cannot coexist. Forget the "perfect" body image for healthy weight. For permanent, healthy change to occur, it must be based in self-love and self-care.  A person who is able to embrace that they are perfect and beautiful – and to discover a life of self-love and self-care would naturally find themselves empowered to create healthier choices with food and a life of movement and exercise.  It's that simple.  Weight loss is an inside job.

As my client and her husband discovered, the medical world may shove you out the door into some phantom abyss and disconnect between self-love and health – but there are many of us around to help you breath deeply and to build a bridge or two.  Join the OnePinky online community that will give you the tools to heal the disconnects in your own life.  Because the bottom line is this – your body is your HOME.  It is where your soul lives from birth until death.

And like it or not, there isn't a one-size-fits-all recovery to obesity and food addiction. However, there ARE proven systems and exercises to help you discover and build your own path to health, self-esteem, self-love, self-care and a beautiful, wonderful life without an uncrossable disconnect between your body and your soul.  

Body Image Mastery Coach Laura Fenamore is on a mission, guiding women around the world to love what they see in the mirror, one pinky at a time. She teaches women how to unlock the secrets to healthy weight and start loving their lives as soon as possible.
Her popular Body Image Mastery program is celebrated by hundreds of women who have lost weight, reclaimed self-esteem, and started bold, happy lives thanks to Laura and her proven programs.

Having overcome her own battles with addiction, obesity, and eating disorders, Laura released over 100 pounds 24 years ago, beginning a journey to guide other women to live more joyous, balanced lives. She is the author of the forthcoming book Weightless: a Body Image Revolution and a frequent contributor to local and national media, including First for Women, Ladies Home Journal, the Dr. Pat Show and blog contributor on Betty Confidential and Daily Love. Laura believes that self love and care are where the transformation begins. Learn more about her programs, invite her to speak on a program or at a conference, or place pre-orders for her book today at

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