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I didn’t really intend on using my blog but I feel it may be somewhat therapeutic and who can’t use that.

I’ve been married for 20 years and I must say the past 5, give or take a few, have been the hardest for me. I’m getting to the point of thinking my life would be a whole lot easier if I were single.

Grant it I have 3 children, 2 in high school and one pre-teen. My son who is the youngest is slowly but surely taking on the personality faults of my husband. One being a very negative person.

Another thing I should add is that my husband is an alcoholic. Who has said time and time again he wants to quit. But don’t most alcoholics say that. Anyway, I will believe that when it happens.  

I can barely stand to be in the same room with him any more when he drinks. I’ve already told him I don’t ever want to see beer in the fridge again. Of course it doesn’t need to be in there to know if he’s drinking or not.  

My kids know their father is an alcoholic. How they feel about me allowing them to grow up in this environment, I’m not quite sure. I work part time so that I am always available for my children.  

I feel alot of their needs are put on hold and his needs are number one, and because he makes most of our income I feel he believes he earns it.

I can only hope that my children don’t hold it against me. I wish I were able to change things, but it’s out of my hands. I’m truly at a loss on what to do

Thanks for reading and for any thoughts...


Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mksactown wrote Oct 28, 2008
    • Delited...I can’t believe no one has commented to you yet on this. Come on, ladies....some support here.

      1st of all, I am the daughter of an alcoholic father. And when my mom realized she couldn’t get him to quit.....she joined him. What’s the old saying? Can’t beat him, join him? Which of course made it worse. I remember nights when my parents would go out and I didn’t know if they’d come back fighting or all-over-each-other (if you know what I mean) Those were some of the worst times in my teenage life. My mom finally quit going out and divorced him because, frankly, he just won’t quit drinking.  

      Your children are at a crucial age of becoming alcoholic’s themselves, as well. You need to react NOW. You have to tell’s either the alcohol or you...period! If he is NOT going to quit drinking (because you know NO ONE can make an alcoholic quit drinking...only THEY themselves have to WANT to quit), then you have to move out and take those children with you.  

      I would hope that your children will respect you more if you left than to stay, unhappily, with an alcoholic. I know I did with my mom! Your children are old enough for you to sit down and really talk to them about the whole situation. I don’t know what kind of relationship they have with their father, but they can’t be happy with what’s going on.

      Also, you may want to go to your local Al-Anon meeting. They are for people living with alcoholics. That’s an option, if you so choose.  

      I hope this helps....please keep me informed. Good luck and God Bless you.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Oct 29, 2008
    • I am sorry I did not write sooner.  Now is 1:26am.  I can understand your feeling more or less.  My husband is not an alcoholic but his illness has made himself not available for my kid.  Or yet said, sometimes unintentional emotion abuse!  Throughout, I wondered if my kid would grow up somehow emotionally deprived.  I something think of it might have been better if I were to stay single.  Our family went thru a lot emotional traumas and who knows what the future will bring.  There are good days and bad ones.  The only thing I can reassure you is “Your love to your kids will carry.”  It makes them a stronger person, more understanding and more resistant to drink.  (Mine did) I just hope he did not harm you in any physical way.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Heather Mirassou wrote Oct 29, 2008
    • You might go to an AL-NON meeting. This is for members of the family of alcoholics. Children,teens,spouses,cousins,grandparents,are all welcome.

      It is more important to you as a spouse and a mother to know how to communicate,love,care,live with,make boundaries,etc. with an alcoholic. You can then show your children how to love him...with boundaries,care,honesty and love.

      Please call the AA or Al-non hot-line for more information in your area. You can also try to look for meetings in your area on-line. There are meetings in every city around the world!!!

            Report  Reply

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