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Simply put, there will be days where divorced life sucks!  

You may feel overwhelmed with all the additional responsibilities that used to be split between you and your Ex.  You may be feeling lonely, even sad, at times.  You also may be feeling strapped for cash.

These are times when you may start wondering 'Did I make the right decision divorcing him?'

It is natural to wish for the "good ole days" when your "new days" are uncomfortable and complicated; but the reality is that you need to continue moving forward with your new life.

You need to remember that you didn’t end up in front of a judge because your marriage was happy, joyous and free.  It is easy to blur, or minimize, the bad memories of why you divorced while you are overwhelmed with your new life.

The day the divorce papers were signed my Ex was driving across state lines before the ink was even dry, to begin his new life.  I was blessed to receive full custody of our 4 year old daughter; but I had no family living within 1,000 miles of us.  Working full time in a job that requires travel, with no family support is a major challenge!

Were there days when I wished I didn’t have to deal with juggling single motherhood and a professional career ... you bet!  Did I ever wish that I was still married so that I didn’t have to deal with situations like trying to find a friend to watch my daughter for a few days while I went on a business trip...Not even once!

The reason why I never wished I had my old life back is because I was committed to moving myself, and my daughter, forward into a better, happier life.  Here are a few things that I did to help keep me focused on my better, happier life that waiting for me, that I would like to share with you.

Make a list of 20-25 items for which you are grateful for in your new life.

Keep this in your wallet and anytime you‘re feeling emotional or overwhelmed, pull it out and slowly read it aloud.  It will brighten your day and remind you that you are blessed in your new life.

Exercise is one of the best strategies for changing negative energy into positive energy.  The most effective is aerobic exercise; but a good weight based work-out does have a way of getting the stress kinks out of your neck.  Any exercise will lift your spirits, and redirect your thoughts. You should incorporate regular exercise into your life.

A Night of pampering.  Draw yourself a nice bubble bath with candles and soft music.  Give yourself a manicure, pedicure or a facial.  Do something special for YOU, and only YOU.  You are worthy of pampering; so treat yourself accordingly.

Journaling is a good way to get your thoughts out on paper.   I often find that getting things out of my head is beneficial to allowing new thoughts to enter.  It also gives you a more productive form of working through what you're feeling.

Above all else TRUST in Yourself that the decision you made to move into a better, and happier life is what you‘re intended to live.

Comment below on if you ever wished you were still married?

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Member Comments

    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Raisedbyavillage wrote Mar 19, 2012
    • When I divorced, I literally skipped out of the courtroom and wanted to hug the judge.  I squealed with delight when the clerk of court filed my paperwork.  I represented myself and could not have been happier.  Occasionally, I will have a nightmare that I reconciled with my ex and awaken the next morning to feel relief that I am beside husband #2 (the one I adore and have for the past decade).

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Free4all wrote Apr 17, 2012
    • Steppingintojoy - thanks so much for the advice...I happily am already doing most of these things and testify to the positive results.  

      Raisedbyavillage - I am representing myself also...any advice?

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