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In the past it was common for a woman to stay home and raise the children after she got married, while the man went to work and earned money for the family. In the event of a divorce in such a family, the woman would receive a substantial alimony payment from the man, which would last until the woman's remarriage or the man's retirement or death. Typically also, the woman would be awarded custody of the children and thus she would also receive child support from the man. The alimony and child support payments allowed the woman to continue not to work outside the home even after the divorce.  


These times are gone, at least in the State of California. The current state of affairs in California divorce courts is that each person after divorce must become self-supporting. This is an admonition given to all parties going through a divorce, regardless of a person's education and past work experience. In the recent past, a stay-at-home mom was given a substantial amount of time to re-enter the work force after a divorce. During this time, she would receive child support and alimony without any income being imputed to her. This allowed the woman to obtain either on-the-job training or education without the tremendous stress of being expected to support herself immediately after separating from her husband.  

Currently, the Courts are expecting women to be self-supporting the moment after separation. And this is regardless of the fact that the woman may not have worked outside the home for many years, or that she has young children at home who need to be picked up from kindergarten at 12:30 each day. This may seem very unfair, and probably is, but that is the current state of California family law.
As I doubt very much that the law will change in favor of allowing women to have time to get back on their feet after a divorce, women must be self-supporting well before any divorce. What this means is that each woman must have the ability to support herself and contribute to her children’s support, at all times of a woman's life, regardless of whether she is married to a wealthy man who is able and willing to support their family.  

In these tough economic times, if you are a woman who has been out of the work force for many years, or did not finish her education for whatever reason, this is the time to return to school and obtain a degree, a profession, a professional license of some sort, etc. This education will not only improve a woman's self-image, it will also greatly increase the woman's success after a divorce.

If you are interested in receiving legal advice, feel free to contact us at (323) 653-1600 or  [Link Removed]   

The above information is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for individual advice regarding your own situation.

Kvlaw, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.


Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Dec 2, 2008
    • Im so glad you wrote this article.  I was raised to support myself and have taught my daughters and son to do the same.  I was married to a wealthy man, who talked me out of my Art Scholarship to stay home and be his Ranchers wife  (Pamela on Dallas was more like it), but I did as he asked and quit modeling and quit my store managers job and became a wife only.. it was difficult to me to give up my life for him.. but I did.  Then he left me for an younger woman just after the birth of our daughter.  I was with out means of income and went back to the work force after two years to three years of no work.. its difficult.  Plus I had a child so it made things harder.  I learned never to give up my career for anyone.

      I have taught my children the same.  The days of marrying for money are over ladies, I am a Private Investigator and I cant tell you how many of my clients dont know how to support themselves and are lost with out a man.  

      Learn to hunt and fish first, then marry but dont give up your career or means of income no matter how small compared to your husbands.

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Dec 2, 2008
    • Sobering and yet extremely important information. I, too, stayed home my first marriage, went from there to a long term relationship with a man who supported me and now married to a man who was doing the same until I began getting serious about my business. I’m not quite there yet but well on the way to independence in case something happens in my marriage.

      Keep writing these great articles! Much appreciated.

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