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Q & A

Have you ever dated a guy not of your race?
What feelings did you experience and would you do it again?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • Yep. It did not feel any different to me.  I felt as though people were looking at us more than normal, but I did not care so much.  I would do it again without a doubt if I was in the dating world.  I personally liked experiencing the differences and think it was eye opening.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • Yes! I found dating outside my race had no different feeling far as our feelings for each other than in any other relationship, however we did have to deal with the ignorance of others who didn’t seem to care for us being together because he was white and I was black. And yes if opportunity ever presented it self again Yes! I’d do it again.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • I guess this is healthy and natural with all dating ‘cause I found myself looking for the same types of attracting qualities and behaviours, like straight teeth and smoking, you know those things we look for in a mate.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • So it doesn’t mean I’m shallow if I want him to be as good as I want and deserve no matter the skin tone?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • 47 girl let me share: My oldest sister who is now 53 had this hang up about what others would say about her dating outside her race this was over 12 years ago because now she is married to this man, she was so afraid of what my mom and others would say, she almost missed out on her blessing. She came to me her little sister and asked my opinion, I told her “I didn’t care if he had stripes and polka-dots, if he loved her with all his heart and had no hang ups about their different cultures and that he treated her with respect and could give her the world and love her inspite of her ways run with that man.” Well today they are still married she has lived over in Japan for most of their marriage because he is in the hotel business and was over their renovating hotels for Ramada Inns and just became the vice-president of all the Country-Inn Suites Hotels, they now live in have a beautiful home in the suburbs of Victoria, Minnesota. She has everything a woman could ever want he showers her with whatever she wants, just for the inquiring minds she married a guy who is a non traditional Jew. He came from money and now is making even more money getting ready to start his own hotel chain so she would have missed out if she had worried about what people thought or said about her being with him.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • I have and I didnt think it was a big deal and neither did the guy I dated. However other people’s prejudices can make it a little difficult if your not really committed. Turned out we enjoyed each other more as friends then anything else. I would definitely do it again if the opportunity presented itself and I was single.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sharman G. Lawson wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • I’ve always dated outside my race, but not on purpose or intentionally. White, Asian, and Spanish guys have always seemed to like me. My first love was White. I’ve never seeked after any of them, but them after me. I’ve dated black guys too. Color has never mattered at all with me or my family. Interracial couples are across the board on both sides of my internal and external family. Relationships are just relationships. They are loving and takes work.

      I found Asian families or people to be the most prejudice towards dating outside of their race. The others, there wasn’t a problem. Other people Black and White would look, but it was never a problem with us.

      My husband is White and Filipino. We’ve been married 16 years. Race is never a problem with us. My husband’s parents are White (adopted). His father had problems with me but got over it. Early on we got looks from others. If we get looks now, neither of us ever notice. Oh, my first husband was Black, so race isn’t the issue. Character, integrity, honesty, communication, and love—is what makes a relationship work or not work.

      I say, never limit yourself to dating only within your own race. Otherwise, you may “miss” your blessing and your soul mate.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • I’m thanking you all for your input. Lastnight I had a date with “my frog prince” as he calls himself in the online dating world. I had a fun time with him we went bowling, however there just wasn’t any attraction on my part. I think he wanted us to hit it off so much so that he actually overdid it. My first real date with a White man.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • So how was it? Was it different?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • Truthfully speaking the only difference was that he was White. He was attractive and confident, the one thing that turned me off was that he kept touching me, not disrespectfully, just sorta touchy, feely. He wanted us to hit it off I know from previous conversations.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Djd258 wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • Can't beleive I found this question... Hope you have the time to read it.. maybe I should blog it instead happyI've sort-of dated several black men however they both were such players that it turned me off, and now it seems only black men have been attracted to me, but I won't date them because the first two put a bad taste in my mouth.
      Now my soul mate as it were... we worked together for 6 years, flirting of course all the while but he had a habit of dating beautiful women and his relationships only lasted a couple of months. He is CUBAN (YUUUUMMMM) he finally asked me to go out to a Pub with "friends from work". There was no one else there from work, (coward!) any way long story short we secretly  dated for 4yrs, he was in management I was not, Okay so I'm totally in love with this guy, he ended up marrying someone from his college years, two days after his wedding he was back on the phone with me telling me he Loved Me, remember I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this guy... I've told him time and time again NO but have fallen many times, he's been married to her for almost 5yrs, yesterday he showed at my house. Don't worry ladies I didn't!!  YEAH ME!

      Did I get off track? ohhhh




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • huh! a guy thats touchy feely! The only touchy feely kind I’ve met are more like the gropey kind.....ugh!
      If it feels good and you like him go for it.
      I do have to ask this.... Did he dress nice?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Djd258 wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • P.S Have you been counting?
      That’s a total of 15yrs of my life! On a man I can’t have and at this point don’t want anymore... I do still love him but it’s waning.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cherrie Webb wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • I’m almost afraid y‘all are too freaky for me!I have to tell to tell you, after 46 years on this planet, I’ve only dated humans.
      I did have a relationship with a kitten that I weaned because some sicko killed its mother, but that was sort of a mother/son thing.  

      But no, even in the past 24 years of marriage, there have neen times when I’ve considered separating from my hubby, I Never considered leaving him for anything but another human estatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • Vikki,

      We both wore jeans, his jeans were the decent(not the holey kind) he had on a belt and polo shirt,tucked in. In other words we were appropriate for the setting. He wore what I believe were those skecher shoes with laces and square toes.

      I just wasn’t attracted to him. I know what attracts me even on a White man and it was missing.

      Djd,
      no ma‘am you didn’t get off track. You just let it out!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Karyn Olson wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • I have always dated outside of my race...I have never been attracted to Native Americans....Just my preference I guess...Most men I date are white...and at one time I had dated a man from the Barbados...and he was fun...and also a good cook...lol...happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • Cherrie,

      That is too cute. No I’m not an alien or freaky, just putting a question to my sisters. I have had an attraction to a blue eyed guy when I was 18 and he was gorgeous. We‘re talking about it again 30 years later.

      Your husband is handsome and I’m sure he’s romantic.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • I dated a man who was half Japanese and half Chinese. He was gorgeous! So exotic and handsome. People used to stare at us when we went anywhere. I know they were mostly looking at him because he was so good looking.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Djd258 wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • 47
      Girl... Guess I had to get that one off my chest!
      I can be down right mean to him I’ve told him I hate him and he still calls and begs... WHAT‘S UP WITH THAT?!!

      If an alien came and was sweeter to me than half the men I’ve run into... well ya never know do ya! LOL estatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Saylor101 wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • In high school I dated an “true” Native American  - beautiful Indian Boy.  In my 20’s I lived in Hawaii and dated an Islander - Polynesian of some sort....Hawaiian simply put, neither of those felt like I was dating “outside my race“.

      I don’t feel that I personally pay attention to that sort of thing - 2 of my closest friends married “out” White/Hawaiian Japanese & Bahamian/White.  I don’t see color with any of them - - Now I do have to say that when us two white chicks are at the mall in Dallas with 3 BEAUTIFUL Japanese girls WE get a lot of looks.  Suppose they are trying to figure out why one of us would adopt so many!! happy  :-0  

      I’m with everyone else - gotta do what feels right - don’t want to miss out on “THE ONE“.  

      I’ve not yet found a soul mate - and that makes me sad.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • BB,

      Some of it is true, some of it is biased, and then again I only know about one. And within that one sphere I have encountered some brothers who were short on the long of it, and some way too long on the long of it.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • djd...what’s your present relationship status?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • Asian Men - yep but there’s always exception.  

      Small but firm ..happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sharman G. Lawson wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • My husband is half White and Asian, and I can tell you the sterotypes are wrong. I do not believe any one group has the large or small size covered. However, stereotypes and myths will always live.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Leadinladytracy wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • I have not dated outside my race, but was always open to it.  

      I have encouraged my kids to date outside of their race and they have.  

      I feel you should date whoever makes you happy.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • I have never dated outside my race but have been curious on occasion.
      I am married and have been forever but for some reason I was always curious about Native Americans, Asian/South Pacific men.
      I don’t know what it is about them but I think they are attractive and mysterious and maybe have more of a spiritual flow to them.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Djd258 wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • Do you see what happened to this question while I was gone ohhhh, I had to take my son to a B-Day party, I come back and we‘re onto shapes angles and width... I knew I should have told him to walk!!estatic
      I think race doesn’t mean a darn thing, it’s all in the hands.  

      Jenni, I’m single.. was in a 3 year relationship after my divorce in 94 and after that all my relationships were basically for sex! I figured if a guy can do it so can a woman.  

      The Cuban.... perfection!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Maria Louise Van Deuson wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • No, but I had a crush on a guy. My mom’s boyfriend when I was growing up was a different race. He was in our life from when I was 5 until I left home at 17. Many of the families where I grew up in the housing projects were multi-racial households. I didn’t know it could be different. I was raised ‘color-blind’ but when we would travel, people would stare. When I moved at 14 to a rural area that was all white, it was HORRIBLE the way they treated us, and the names they called us! To me, all people are from the same race - HUMAN! Color of skin is no difference.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Saylor101 wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • I do applaud your HUMAN RACE Comment.  You are 100% right.  

      Though there are cultures within many sects or regions of our vast world that VARY in such array from each other that it easy and perhaps too common place to simply say “race” rather than “of a different culture or skin color”  happy  

      WOW I’m sure diplomatic today!!  Mom always said I should be a politician!  - - Way too many skeletons in the closet for that career!!  

      xo




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • That statement is NOT true!!! All men in any color come in all shapes, colors and sizes down there. I have seen some white men with bigger pipes than some of the brothers so it depends on the make up of the man and his genetic genes.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Doreen XoXo wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • My son is dating a beautiful girl.  Yes, she is black.  But who cares.  She makes him happy and vice versa!  




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • Doreen,

      She is as beautiful as your son is handsome and get a load of those smiles, they are as bright as the flash in the mirror.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cherrie Webb wrote Jan 10, 2009
    • Thanks Saylor!
      I’ll tell you one of those width and “race” things my husband came home from work with one day.  Plays right into those stereotypes.

      He worked with a group of black males who apparently were discussing their prowess. And one made comment that my hubby couldn’t hang, just like most white guys wouldn’t be able to pull a “sista“.

      My hubby said he pulled out his wallet, showed off pics of me him and the kids and said, I’ve kept this one happy for (at the time) 15 years.

      The response was “YOU DA MAN“.

      Never heard another word about it.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jackie42 wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • Yes I have. To me it does not matter. We are all created equal, race or color is not an issue for me, as long as you have chemistry, and have something in common. I married a white man, I’m hispanic and we have been together for 18 years with 3 beautiful kids.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      40andwhere wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • Hey, if I find a man who treats me like his queen...I don’t care if he’s GREEN!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • The last five guys I have dated - four black and one white.
      Readinf the above comment and I do have to say I agree on the the being looked at aspect. With the last black guy he said he always get looks and have to say so do I; but it seems people look more in observation. It didn’t bother either one of us.
      What I definitely noticed being white that while out with him at times I felt I got nasty glares from white men. Usually, I would get that feeling someone was staring an energy, turn and then get the nasty glare from a white man. Interesting experience, never really bothered me but I did notice this more than a few times. Even had one guy say why don’t you give us white guys a chance.
      One thing I have noticed and let me here your opinion on this is the black guys with kids don’t usually seem to play a large role in the up-bringing of their children once they are separated from their ex. It seems the “baby’s mother” or grandmother does this.... Is this a pattern or just part of the make-up of the guys I met? Not sure!
      As for size I agree race definitely does not seem to make one larger or smaller.
      Interesting for me is that prior to 35 not 42, I didn’t have the dating or relationship with black men now....that’s completely different.
      And, as for players no matter the race a player is just that!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Jan 21, 2009
    • While growing up..I preferred to date white guys..I just knew I was gonna marry one..one day..guess that stemmed from my mum being heavily involved with a white guy when I was a teen...

      I married a Jamaican though and at the time I thought he was the best thing for me being that we were both West Indian..NOT!!

      After the divorce..I dated several men..One being a white man..He was cool but I was turned off by his insistance of us getting serious too quick..it was like date one night..the next day we were picking out wedding rings..No lie..Come to find out he was looking for his version of a Trophy Nubian Queen to piss his ex wife off...He wanted me to go with him to pick his kids up for the weekend so that he could show me off to his ex wife...I couldn’t take that..so I ended it real fast..Needless to say I was called everything but a child of God...

      My hubby of almost 2 years is bi-racial and looks every bit of it...His mother (God rest her soul) was Korean and my hubby took on more of her traits than his father..Our baby boy looks even more Korean than he does...

      Bottom line..Love is everywhere...in every colour...nationality...and background..If I were still single..you darn right I’d date whoever was good to me...and take the stares and critizism...




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