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Ok, this is not an easy topic for me; only because I have had breast cancer and currently wear a prosthesis where my left breast used to be and dating has become very, very difficult for me.  How do you share something like this with someone you could be interested in and they hope they will understand.  So far, I am having no luck in this area. Any encouraging words.
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Best Answer

I was told five years ago I had cancer, I have a scar that  runs all the way down my stomach and I was so upset when I woke up and saw it for the first time.  I am a very happy to be here and I have grown from all this . I will share this with you I have a tumor in my  right lung and a black area in my left lung I have an appointment in April . I have had many test and I been told to live my life to the fullest , so I am. I hope that I don’t ended up with the illness that took mom. Girl you will find the right man who will love you beyond the scar . I send you many smiles!! Enjoy life and live it to the fullest.


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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Mar 24, 2009
    • I would say this is something you do not have to disclose when just simply dating.  If you decide that this person could become meaningful in your life then and only then would you share your experience with them.

      I don’t have any experience with this so my words are just how I would think I would handle it, but I can’t really be sure.  I guess if someone really likes you it won’t matter.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Mar 24, 2009
    • Honey this is a subject close to my heart – I'm a cancer fighter not survivor I'll never get the remission letter or word ....... I told my ex hubby up front about my illness and he was okay with it and he was with me through  4 different sets of gruelling chemo and numerous operations but it freaked him out and one of the reasons he cited when he was caught playing away from home was that he couldn't cope with the stress ........
      So for two years I've been in my shell until January when I started seeing an old friend Harvey who knows about my illness and everything – he doesn't care per say about that he just likes me and my kick ass attitude ...... he has seen my scars and he knows about my big impending operation and he is cool ....... Harvey is not my next hubby , he is Mr commitment phobia which is perfect he is my Defibrillator man...he kicked started my heart made me feel good again , he was just what I needed.
      So take it slow and yes declare because if a guy can't cope he ain't worth knowing us girls who have been through this are special and a special guy is required ...... so be strong and maybe think about a Defibrillator man....




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Mar 24, 2009
    • I agree with 3sa. I would wait to see if you are compatable and if there is a possible future before disclosing.  No sense in you getting hurt repeatedly by acquaintances. Someone who truly cares for you will be compassionate. Wait for that person.
      And of course we are here to always be sounding boards if you need it.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ms-kay wrote Mar 24, 2009
    • I ditto with 3sa...sharing something so personal with someone who you are merely dating should not be a topic of conversation.  

      Take time to get to know someone and let them get to know who you are (and not your breast). We all some flaws and the motto should be “Love All Of Me or Leave Me Alone“. happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Leeann wrote Mar 24, 2009
    • I was told five years ago I had cancer, I have a scar that  runs all the way down my stomach and I was so upset when I woke up and saw it for the first time.  I am a very happy to be here and I have grown from all this . I will share this with you I have a tumor in my  right lung and a black area in my left lung I have an appointment in April . I have had many test and I been told to live my life to the fullest , so I am. I hope that I don’t ended up with the illness that took mom. Girl you will find the right man who will love you beyond the scar . I send you many smiles!! Enjoy life and live it to the fullest.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Gottagorightnow wrote Mar 24, 2009
    • I don’t get it annamaria:  “Your fear is your power“?  Help me understand that one.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Mar 24, 2009
    • Agreeing with 3sa, that information should remain personal until you‘re in a meaning relationship with someone and even then I’d still wait until I was really sure this person is going to be with me for the long haul. My hope for you is that you will find the right man soon to love you beyond your scar as Leeann said. If a man can’t except you for the woman you are with or without the breast he isn’t worthy of you in the first place, a breast or any other body part should not defined who or what we are. Many blessings to you.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Mar 24, 2009
    • I know I would have difficulty with this. I am most critical of my own “flaws“, and have trouble admitting to some most simple human attributes. It is a wall I know would be to my own benefit to start to break down. I realize your hesitation is not from shame, but possibly from the fear that such an intense experience might overwhelm someone until they are completely committed to you. I have no good answer....I guess you must go with your gut on an individual “need to know” basis. Blessings and love to you.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deb Darby wrote Mar 24, 2009
    • Maybe you could just bring up the subject in an, “I have this friend...” kind of a way. You’d have to be a bit of an actress, but if it’s a guy you think might accept you and who would be worth it in other ways, it would be a way to know his feelings in general. Bless you, and all of you other strong, amazing women!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vasilia wrote Mar 24, 2009
    • Hi Wisdom,

      Thankfully, I've never experienced cancer (yet), but all I can say is that any man you date that wouldn't want to be with you when he finds out you've lost a breast to cancer isn't worth the paper his phone number's written on.   Just take it slowly, and don't feel that you have to disclose this until you feel he's a "keeper."

      Sincerely,
      Vasilia happy




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