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anonymous Anonymous

Q & A

I suspect that my husband is cheating on me.  Any suggestions?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Aug 13, 2009
    • Depends on why you suspect him. Do you have prove? Have you asked him? Did you or someone you trust see him?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Doreen XoXo wrote Aug 13, 2009
    • Believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see.

      xoxo




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Aug 13, 2009
    • There are many red flags....

      Suddenly working on Saturday when he NEVER had to work on weekends.  

      Suddenly has to do a sleep study to check for sleep apnea so he is gone for the entire Friday night.

      Says he is working overtime, but when I checked his paycheck and work stub, there is NO overtime.  

      No sex in three months....odd?




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Aug 13, 2009
    • You can throw some money at the problem, hire a private investigator that deals with these things.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Aug 13, 2009
    • [Link Removed] Call Bobbi Bacha. She’s a private investigator and I think still a fab40 member. I bet she could help


      Chocolatier, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marilyn09 wrote Aug 13, 2009
    • No sex in 3 WEEKS would put up a red flag for me. But for me I think that I would rather not definately know.  After trying to jump his bones (and if he pushed me away) I would ask “so are ya cheatin on me or did you decide not to have sex anymore?   See what he said.  If he said he was cheatin I would want him to know that he should leave me and go to her.  But if he said he was not cheating I would take it as the truth.
      Thats just me.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Aug 13, 2009
    • It sounds pretty fishy to me.  I think I would want proof before confronting him and looking into marital counseling.  I’m so sorry that you have to go through all this!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Aug 13, 2009
    • Have you said anything to him regarding your thoughts on this. I’m one of those straight to the point kind of women.

      I am sorry you are dealing with this.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Aug 14, 2009
    • Sorry your having this crap got the badge and t-shirt on this along with a number of other ladies on this site ..

      You need to either ask him out right
      Hire a PI and yes Bobbi is excellent PM me if you want I’ll introduce you ....
      Or follow him check out the sleep centre - pop by work on a Staurday with his mid morning snack .....

      But listen to your gut ...




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Subathra wrote Aug 14, 2009
    • Hello ,

      I am truly sorry for youworried
      I guess this xperience is very painful and very stressful. I went thru this similar situation and am stil not sure whether he is seeing this other woman in his life.

      Its been two years now.I read his sms one day by mistake and she had confessed that she truly misses him.I got curious on why his staff(tis other woman) should miss him when she is only seated chairs away in his office.

      Then i recalled all the excuses he had been giving me on staying back late and even going to his office at midnite for some unfinished work.

      Another factor was how he suddenly started to take care of his body n clothings by going to the gym,exercising and buying new attires.

      Futhermore,when he comes back at nite n when i ask him how was his day at office,he would mention this other woman and scold her saying how inefficient and slow she is and mention other ill stuffs about her that even got me feeling pity for her.When i recalled all that later, i have the feeling that he spoke ill of her in order not to get me suspicious of them working together at odd hours.

      But oddly,our sex life was stil good.Surprise! Surprise!

      What a drama!!!! I confronted him and he denied everything like a typical Indian man. But like how UK Girl mentioned, my gut feelings gave me al the signals from all corners.I spoke to this other woman and she too denied everything.I wanted to meet her but she avoided me and later even resigned and took off.

      I guarded my hubby like a hawk.I didnt want to let him go and i meant business! He knew that and soon after he started coming back home early,spending more time with us and informed me of his whereabouts.I gave him a tougue lashing of his life and reminded him of his responsibilities to his family.

      No doubt it stil hurts that he made a fool out of me with al his lies,that he had preffered this other woman over me but i stil carry on with my marriage.

      Becoz I came from a broken family,my parents were divorced by the time i was 12 and i remember how i wished for the thousand times that i would have a family like the rest of my friends.I didnt want the same fate for my daughters.I would rather die than to put them into the same situation.

      I was betrayed and i would never trust my husband again.This he knows,yet we carry on like any other normal couples.I know he stil contacts this other woman and later claims they are only friends but i no longer care.

      For life is short and it has no gurantee for happiness or peace.I just fill my heart with love..love for my mother..love for my two girls...love for my siblings who in return loves me unconditionnally.And i find comfort in that thought...

      May you find peace and the solution you are looking for.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shopgirl1960 wrote Aug 14, 2009
    • First I want to say that I hope your wrong. I really do.

      I would not give him the “heads up” that you are doubting him. (If you want to know for sure.) And if he’s not cheating it may cause trust issues.

      Know inside your heart IF you really want to know. Would you stay.... would you leave him?  If you would leave my advice would be to know FOR SURE and keep quiet and save as much money as you can!!!!!!!!

      Again... I hope your wrong and I am sending out many wishes for you!!!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tammyjoa wrote Aug 14, 2009
    • I agree with shopgirl   not like he would just come out and and say yes honey i am cheating.. there might be a few men out there that would but i dont know any...i would not let him know you are even thinking it.. but i would look around, keep my eyes and ears wide open..

      like all others i hope he is not doing this to you.
      stay strong/

       tammy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Joni Marie wrote Aug 14, 2009
    • INVESTIGATE and PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE,.....be your own private investigator, follow him.  I know it sounds awful, but do it to give yourself peace of mind.

      If he is cheating, start saving your money. Think things out all the way through to the end.  Run through different scenarios in your mind.  Time is on your side.  What do you want to do if he is having an affair?  What is best for you?  Once you make that decision, then do what you need to do, but calculate all of your moves and all of your words and do not be impulsive!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angell VillafaƱe wrote Aug 16, 2009
    • That is the worst feeling in the world and I hope you find that is not the case. I have been through it and I had suspected for a while but never had proof. But one day I did get proof and it was enough for me to take the next step. I say get proof because without it you basically have to go on what he is telling you and that question will always be in your mind...and you won’t rest easy until you know for sure. Good luck and I truly hope it isn’t what you suspect.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bookdoc wrote Apr 21, 2010
    • I feel your pain girlfriend. I too went through a year of suspecting something wasn’t right, but could not put my finger on it. There was no proof. There was nothing I could do without appearing like a crazy lady.

      Well, the universe delivered my proof. I came across a email written to him from his mistress, and his reply. I won’t bother you with all the details (it was the usual stuff) of course I confronted him, and he did the usual denial thing. It became ugly and painful even to this day, because we are still working out trust issues. (I keep wondering if I’ll ever be able to trust him again, but that’s a different blog)  

      So, my suggestion to you is trust yourself, trust your gut, but do not confront until you have proof, and if there is proof it will come your way. Infidelity takes a lots of energy to conceal, and cheater’s get lazy and leave bread crumbs for people to follow.( I believe they get lazy because they want to get caught, so they will have an excuse to stop the behavior)  

      Anyway, my final thought is...listen to the great advice given by the wonderful ladies on this site, but do what you need to do to save your sanity. If it means following him, surprise visits at work, or hiring a PI to find your proof then by all means do so, if the proof is out there you will find it. But I strongly recommend that you do not confront without proof! No one likes to be falsely accused, with proof there is no false accusation, just a confirmed accusation.

      I wish you peace heart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Brown wrote Apr 22, 2010
    • I agree with alot of the ladies. Decide if you really want to know and what you will do with the info, if you are going to leave, then get the proof. If you decide not to leave decide if you really need to know the truth.




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