Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]

Benefits

  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.

anonymous Anonymous

Q & A

Have you ever loved someone that you know in your heart wasnt worth loving ? How did you handle the sitiuation ?

  •  



Answer this See more Questions

View All Answers

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • He was horrible and I gave 10 years of my life to him. Drinking, yelling, neglect, fear.

      When he asked me to marry him I said no, but I stayed in the relationship anyway. I was in such a bad frame of mind. I knew, however, that marriage with him would be the final blow for my self esteem. I couldn’t bring myself to leave for a long time but I couldn’t allow myself to commit to him in marriage either. It was an awful time in my life.

      I wish I had words of wisdom but, when I left, I just left. I spent so many years wanting to leave and not doing it. I had many opportunities to just walk out the door. I look back on it now and I still shake my head over it.  

      When I’d finally had enough I don’t know what happened, I just, left. That was it. No looking back. No regrets.

      I wish you well in whatever situation you are in.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • I think marriage is really hard when your the only one giving it your all and the other is taking as much as they can. I love my husband but if I had to do over again, I think I would have not married him. He is a wonderful father and a friend. I think I just fell out of love with him. I stay for the kids.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jean Walter wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • I was only 16 when I met him... I felt so lost back then, who doesn’t at 16 but there was some attraction there.  He was 2 years older then me and already graduated from high school.  I was barely getting through 11th grade.
      We were inseparable and I wound up getting pregnant. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make as far as going though with the pregnancy but I did.
      Our parents were pushing for us to get married but he wasn’t willing at first. When I turned 18 and my beautiful baby girl was 1 1/2 we got married. I should have known better but I wanted to do what I thought was right at the time.
      He was in to drugs and alcohol. He couldn’t hold down a job. He was out every night doing Lord only knows what but I would sit by the window anyway, waiting for him to come home. When he finally did, he was usually so trashed that there was no way to have a conversation with him and if I did confront him with where he was at, I ended up seeing the back of his fist.
      This went on for 6 years!! Why did I stay in that abusive relationship?? I thought I loved him but I was scared to death of him!! I knew in my heart that maybe if I tried harder I could change him. I thought if only I could be more perfect. My family warned me, but I didn’t pay attention to them. There was something there that I saw good in him.
      After the birth of our son, I thought things would get better. They got worse... the biggest difference was that he had a son now and he used that against me. Threatening to take my son away from me if I ever left.
      The last time he hit me my children were 5 and 2. They witnessed this and it took everything I had to finally leave.
      With only $20 in my pocket for a bus ride back to my parent’s house, I took my two children and left!
      For many years I was constantly looking over my shoulder but with the help of my family and the power of prayer, I was able to move on with my life, with no regrets!
      Hang in there and trust your heart...




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • Yes, I have. I’d love a refund on that 6 years.
      The beginning was incredible. (Long story short here or we’d be here for days & the details on this showstopper’d keep you up for days wondering what took place next~this wasn’t a typical story by any means. Should grab a movie contract out of this one!)
      Anyway, bottom line, he’s an alcoholic, an abuser & a serial cheater; extremely narcissistic. The changes that were taking place were subtle at first~if you blinked, you’d miss it. Or you’d tell yourself, “Nah...Couldn’t be. That’s not even possible...”
      It was.
      That situation successfully turned my life upside down in more ways than one.
      I stayed for far too long.
      Last Christmas Day, I waited for him to leave for work (chef)& I moved out with whatever would fit into my car & a small pickup truck with the help of a friend.
      (On my way out, I changed the admin passwords in the laptop he was addicted to, pitched his toothbrush into the trash & threw all of his beloved alcohol into the dumpster. Took me about 30 seconds to really hit him where it counted. Sad, huh? lol...
      I now have my sanity & self back. I can sleep at night.
      I am strong.
      I will never, ever settle for less or tolerate anything that even smells like abuse again. I will not compromise myself or my beliefs ever again.
      It’s AWESOME.
      Someone like that was easy to feel sorry for in the beginning.  

      Worth my love? NO WAY.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jean Walter wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • Jenz41~ do you feel stronger after going through all of that or do you feel like it has scared you in some way?
      I know for myself that I had a very low self esteem for a long time!
      It wasn’t until I was out on my own with my two kids, working 3 jobs to make ends meet that I felt like I had some kind of self worth!
      This was all when I was in my early 20’s!!
      I have not felt that independence since....
      I need to figure out how to get that back!




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • You either love him or her, or you dont.  

      The value of the person is only measured by his or her deeds.  If you knew the value of this person and loved him or her before you entered into a relationship, then you therefore accepted his or her worth.

      So if the person is not worth your love, then perhaps its not love at all ?

      Time for a total re-evlaulation of your heart.. maybe your staying for other reasons not love.

      There is all kinds of love, but true love will touch your soul and heart.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • I loved him with my whole heart & soul. Seriously. I never loved anyone like that.
      His problems became our problems & it turned quite serious.
      Yes, I do feel stronger, moreso than i ever have. It has certainly been a long uphill climb, but you know what? Eventually you do get there & it feels really good. I wasn’t sure I’d ever stop hurting.

      But, I have.

      And yes, I was scared. I was lonely. I was this, that and the other thing. Every day, you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and sometimes you might even need to remind yourself to breathe. :) Next thing you know, you aren’t scared & feeling alone etc anymore. You feel healthy, as independent as you know you can be, and strong, and guess what else?? HAPPY. YAAAAAY! I think at the time, I really believed I would always just ache.

      I took a year to myself (almost) to ‘heal’ & get strong again. It has done wonders.  

      Have faith. Surround yourself with strong supportive people who love you & have your best interest at heart. Do things you like to do. Maybe design your life the way you’ve always wanted it to be & go for it! :) You’ll have good days & crappy days. Soon enough though, the good out# the yucky ones.

      Hugs!!




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Dec 2, 2008
    • Guys you all have gave me good advice to ponder on. This was an extra curriculm activity that turned extra serious on my part. I belive he had feelings for me but was to dam macho to show them so he remained mean and bitter with me to cover his feelings.(He knew that I was with someone else for 14 years)and in the end he couldnt handle it. It has only been a week since this affair has ended and I feel dam good about it. Dont get me wrong it still hurts sometimes becouse I have put in a year and a half of extra energy and I grew to love him, in which it wasnt suppose to happen in that aspect. There is also times that I do miss him but I kno that that is a part of the healing process. Its dam hard but I am a strong women so It will get easier with time.
      Extra Kudos to all the understood and felt my pain
      and Kudos to those who didnt understand y I had this affair becus You will never understand if you have never walked a mile in my shoes. Luv you guys.
      Stay strong and positive.




            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jean Walter wrote Dec 2, 2008
    • Anonymous ~ I feel your pain.... You have a friend here... if you ever need one!!

      {{HUGS}}
      ~jeanie




            Report  Reply


Ask a Question






mature content submit as anonymous