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Benefits
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When you feel like there is no more hope what do you do, how do you handle it, i sure cant?? I feel stuck, choked up like there is no ending to a bad horrible relationship.......
Every relationship has a beginning and an end. Some are lucky to be with the person all their life and part at death, and some change partners several times in life.
Sure you always have a choice, and no one deserves to be unhappy. A word of warning though.....Be realistic in your expectations, find our the real reason your relationship isn’t working out, and device an exit strategy if you still feel you need to leave.
Good luck.
Hi Yana thanks for your advise, i know i have to leave its too painful, he has a 3 years old daughter with this woman, and she aint planning on leaving, so i know i have to, she and him is making my life very unhappy, there is no doubt in my mind, i know i have to leave, but because financially i cant right now, everyone is saying get my rights from a laywer and get half of what he has, my heart hurts, i dont even want to do that, i wish i could just leave.......
I do agree with Yana and yet I do know how you feel too. I had to sit down one day by myself and decide if this is how I want to live my life. I went on a silent retreat. Once I decided that I deserved better, I went sought counsel, made moves to enpower myself once I left, then I departed. The time of preparation made life easier for me. The situation did not even stress me out as much once I decided to leave.
Just some sisterly advice here, Camille. Obviously it’s over and you need to move on, right?
Get the lawyer! And find a job of any sort to empower yourself and feel your worth. Never mind what he is doing.... that no longer has anything to do with you. Use this time before his girlfriend talks him into booting you out, to prepare yourself to be self sufficient. How ever you used to view life does not apply now so take care of yourself.
I get where your hurt comes from, it’s a “been there, done that” for me, so unload on the hurt and start planning an immediate future for now.
I get the feeling you’d do good in retail clothing, you have a style to you.
Cathie
I’m single so I don’t know what I can say but the others are giving you good advice. Yes it hurts but he’s the one doing the hurting so - if I were you, I would want what’s due - my half and would not give HIM the satisfaction of my leaving. He’d be the one leaving that’s for sure if you were me, and if I couldn’t afford a divorce lawyer, I’d look for one fresh from taking the Bar who does Pro Bono work. I would tell the lawyer I want his balls on a stick still attached!
If he’s violent, or you suspect he would respond to you wanting a divorce in that manner, you’ll have to do it a different way, through a shelter. Just repeat to yourself, you deserve better and you deserve the best.
You are right Cathie i always thought of doing retail clothing
well try and see how that works, well ladies its always heart warming having such great families like all of you, thats what i consider all of you to be my families, i am getting a laywer who wont take any money til he gives me what i need to have,so here goes nothing hoping everything goes well 
Trust me Terma i am running and thats to Holland as soon as i do the Dutch exams
Camille, I have been there! My ex had a set of twin’s with a “one night stand“. I was between jobs when I found out but still kicked HIM out the day I found out and moved on. It’s so not worth staying. It’s painful but trust me, you’ll be so much better off in the long run.
Well Angel that was my problem i stayed too long i should have done it when i found out 17 years ago, thats how long i am have been going through lots of stress and depression and low self esteem, i thought there would be no one else for me, so i stuck it out and it got much worst......
Thanks Monica
Camille,
You can do this! Is there anyway you can squirrel away a little money now? I have been in your shoes and know how difficult it is. I’m glad you’ve got your goal of moving to Holland as having a plan helps keep you from being paralyzed with uncertainty. I’m praying for you to do well on your language exam and for you to find a new job.
Thanks Annie i think thats what keep me going for real, knowing i have something good to look forward to, i cant wait to have a new beginning, and kick the stress to the curb NO MORE!!
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