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Q & A

I’ve been flirting with a very nice, handsome man whose birthday is tomorrow. I convinced him to take the day off so I can take him out. He took the day off, but decided that we go to a different restaurant and it’s on him. We argued because I already said it was my treat (he’s spent quite a bit of money on me already). Now I’m older and trying to keep from pulling rank, LOL.  

Here’s the question, if you invite a guy out for his birthday and tell him it’s your treat, then he changes up on you and tells you it’s on him, would you let him pay or insist on it being your treat?

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Best Answer

That’s a good thought about paying for the drinks. If there was time and if he just insists on paying I’d go out and buy a nice gift for him to open at the restaurant.


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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Sep 7, 2010
    • I would insist but not if it got to where we were causing a scene, I’ve had that happen. Some men are just old school and cannot let a woman pay.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kyah wrote Sep 7, 2010
    • I figure if he still insists, we’ll try a compromise: I’ll pay for the drinks and he can pay for the food.




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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Sep 7, 2010
    • I’m with Ruby on this one.....

      Of course you can let him pay and then you take him out for cake or ice cream and pay for that. Kinda a win win!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Sep 7, 2010
    • That’s a good thought about paying for the drinks. If there was time and if he just insists on paying I’d go out and buy a nice gift for him to open at the restaurant.




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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Sep 7, 2010
    • He’s trying to be a gentleman.  Let him!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nerissa wrote Sep 8, 2010
    • Let Him pay!! In the old days it was expected that a gentlemen pay for a date with a lady. Go and enjoy, next time you could treat. Maybe being in your company is payment enough, just sayingheart.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Sep 8, 2010
    • The restaurant that he chose may be a place that he really likes and therefore he wants to pay for the meal..I like Cynthia’s answer!estatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Sep 8, 2010
    • I agree with all that has been said let him pay for the meal maybe you can leave a tip as well as treat him to a gift to open up at the restaurant as someone else suggested.
      Good luck!happy




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Sep 8, 2010
    • Here’s another idea, prearrange payment with the restaurant.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Sep 8, 2010
    • heartheartheartheartheartheartestaticestaticestaticAWESOME IDEA Lola!!!

      and if you‘re able to do that if there is any payment difference left for the check he can pay that!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kyah wrote Sep 8, 2010
    • Thanks all, for the suggestions! I should have bought him a gift, like a nice LL Bean shirt or something. I didn’t see anything I liked.

      I’m getting ready now. He’s already asked me not to tell the wait staff it’s his birthday (it’s one of those places where they sing Happy Birthday - Stevie Wonder style, not the traditional song) and I said of course I’m going to tell them LOL. And I’m charging my camera too.

      Debating whether to scare the hell out of him and wear a dress, he’s seen me in jeans for like an entire year...




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Pamela Hutson wrote Sep 8, 2010
    • I was going to suggest the prepayment with the restaurant.  Another idea would be to have an awesome dessert for afterward either at a specialty dessert place or at home......

      You could also prearrange a special wine/champagne be there and chilled for you and prepay for that.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      VICKY CORYEA wrote Sep 8, 2010
    • I say just keep it simple.dont over think it!   take him a mini birthday cake!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kyah wrote Sep 8, 2010
    • Well here’s the update. I did wear a purple dress, and it must have knocked his socks off because he said, “you look fantastic” 4 times! I admitted to trying on 3 before settling on that one, and it was because the others were a bit tight and revealing which is not good when you‘re going to pig out. We had a “discussion” about who was going to pay; he paid for it with his card and I gave him a little over half the tab in cash. We did a wild wild west thing trying to whip the plastic out the fastest, and he won basically because the waiter put the little tray in front of him along with the doggy bag. Not enough staff in there to sing happy birthday, drat.

      I told him I felt bad that I didn’t have a gift for him and he said that was all right, and he loved his card. Not so much the card as my cartoon that I drew in there. He thought it was part of the card but realized it was in purple ink so it had to be put there by me. Food was everywhere and just like any boy, he got it stained. I turned it over and right in front of him drew another cartoon pointing to the stain and wrote “after margaritas.” I had to laugh because I could tell the tequila was affecting my ability to draw properly. He watched me in amazement as I completed the cartoon and said, “Oh my God, this is better than any gift. I’m keeping this forever.”

      He looked a little sad when we first met up today; he’s not too happy about being a year older. He asked me for the umpteenth time when my birthday was because all he remembers is October. So he said we’ll have to go out every weekend until October is over and he plans on finding a place that has live music so they can play Happy Birthday to me. I got no problem with the going out every weekend, but he can keep the live band!  

      Want to see how he looked after the margarita? estatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Sep 8, 2010
    • Well Kyah that is one good looking man there! I’m glad it all worked out and you had funestatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Sep 8, 2010
    • He’s adorable! I love that smile!estatic




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kyah wrote Sep 8, 2010
    • Yes Vikki, we had a blast. I passed out as soon as I got home, woke up 4 hours later still feeling that tequila!

      Cynthia, his smile was the first thing that attracted me. He sort of lights up everything around him when he smiles.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Sep 9, 2010
    • Kyah, what fun reading your update! Sounds like a fabulous date. I did like some of the suggestions before your date on prepaying for champagne or dessert, but you got that worked out. Yee-haw and happy dance for you. LOL

      Cathie




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nita P wrote Jan 26, 2012
    • id let him pay only because he insisted and leave it at that no hurt feelings.  but i would emphasise that next time the meal will be your treat and no changing his mind.




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