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anonymous Anonymous

Q & A

My boyfriend and I have decided to get married.  It is the 2nd marriage for both of us.  He just recently mentioned that he would like me to sign a prenup because he lost a lot of money after his divorces. This bothers me.  Should it?

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When I asked my hubby to sign one he was upset at first. To me it was more of an act of faith me or my money. I needed to know after my first marriage. Money changes things Im sorry to say. I knew my hubby loved me in the back of my mind I needed to be sure so when I told him it wasn’t because I didn’t trust him it was so I knew we were man and wife for all the right reasons and its what I needed due to past baggage. I never regretted it because I never thought about it. But as our marriage became stronger and years past I have since made it a thing of the past.
What Im saying is sit down and find out why and what it is about it that makes him feel secure. I bet it has nothing to do with you personally. But knowing his re
asons might make you not feel so bad.
My hubby also at the time wanted certain things in it for him. That made it a compromise and empowered both of us.
I’d do it again. Its a piece of paper that can be changed.
It protects you too. Sign it after you know why and motivation of the ppre nup


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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Sep 14, 2010
    • In a show of good faith and under the circumstances I would sign a prenup. But, it would have to be very concise as to the conditions. I think I would also put a time on it to be reviewed and revised, like maybe after 5 years.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Sep 14, 2010
    • I forgot to say, congratulations. I wish you two much happinessestaticheart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Sep 14, 2010
    • I want to say congratulations but will wait until you make it official!

      As for the prenup I would sign it but make sure there are specifics that will take care of you (even if you have the means currently) and like Cynthia said make it time specific and reviewable every few years.

      I would look at it like a will or living trust. Those need to be reviewed periodically to make sure everything still applies. I would assume a prenup would be the same thing.

      Good Luck!




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Sep 14, 2010
    • It sounds like you both need to sit down and talk very frankly about money.

      I don’t blame him for wanting a prenup.  I lost loads of money in my divorce and if I’d had anything of my own when I married my current hubby, I’d have wanted a prenup too.  Nobody ever goes into a marriage planning on divorce, but it never hurts to protect yourself just in case.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Sep 14, 2010
    • I think I agree with what everyone has said.  I’ve never been divorced but my sister has...and it wasn’t fun at all! A prenup might would have helped her...but after almost 30 years of marriage???  I see where he’s coming from and I see where you are coming from.  Got to find the happy middle..




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Sep 14, 2010
    • I’m not in favor of a pre-nup.




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheekymonkey wrote Sep 15, 2010
    • When I asked my hubby to sign one he was upset at first. To me it was more of an act of faith me or my money. I needed to know after my first marriage. Money changes things Im sorry to say. I knew my hubby loved me in the back of my mind I needed to be sure so when I told him it wasn’t because I didn’t trust him it was so I knew we were man and wife for all the right reasons and its what I needed due to past baggage. I never regretted it because I never thought about it. But as our marriage became stronger and years past I have since made it a thing of the past.
      What Im saying is sit down and find out why and what it is about it that makes him feel secure. I bet it has nothing to do with you personally. But knowing his re
      asons might make you not feel so bad.
      My hubby also at the time wanted certain things in it for him. That made it a compromise and empowered both of us.
      I’d do it again. Its a piece of paper that can be changed.
      It protects you too. Sign it after you know why and motivation of the ppre nup




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheekymonkey wrote Sep 15, 2010
    • estatic I hope to read your getting married. Congrats.heart




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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Butterfly13 wrote Sep 15, 2010
    • Congrats on the upcoming marriage- and signing a pre-nup to me is smart especially on a second marriage- of course you don’t expect to divorce no one ever does but considering 60% of the people do its best to have a secure plan in place IF it happens-and if children are involved from a prior marriage.  In 7-10 years you can always change your terms....




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