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Benefits
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Is it wrong to become good friends again with an old boyfriend in an unhappy marriage?
they call them “old” boyfriends for a reason. Even though you dont know his wife put yourself in her shoes. How do you know its unhappy because he says so maybe the wife thinks they are happy? I think you should stay clear of this. Its toxic. No good can come of this.
But if you have been intouch the whole marriage and his wife knows you and you her well then its friends not a Im unhappy lets look elsewhere and thats what hes doing no matter how far apart you live. And if he truely believed marriage is for ever he would be going to coules therepy and making it work instead of talking to you. Im sorry to say that I feel you BOTH are wrong. Tell him as a friend and a person who cared for him once to put the energy into his marriage. But, I could be bias this happened to someone I know.
Alot of pain and sorrow came with it for all involved. Good luck with your desicion.
I agree with Cris, it’s Wrong! Find yourself a new boyfriend that is unattached and have fun with him.
Cathie
I totally agree with Cheekymonkey and Mamapan, as this very thing happend to me. My ex-husband befriended our baby sitter,and it was not good. he swears nothing sexual ever went on with them, but I didn’t believe him. I was very hurt and I could no longer trust him or her again. If nothing more, put yourself in his wife shoes. Would you want your husband being best friends with another woman? I surely don’t.
My marriage went through one “shakey” stage. I met various men during this time as one does through work and life in general but, one “struck” me by surprise. I pretended that he had no effect and while I’m not sure what his side is/was I did find out he was very attracted to me. We ran into each other during the summer and walked and shared information about kids and such. I realized that though we never touched we had an affair. We would run into each other occasionally and “it” was there. I hated it and though I told my husband about these runins and played them off as friendship or less he just knew. To this day I can’t explain the hold this man has on me or that I apparantly have on him. I can’t tell you how much I hated it then and how much I hate it now. I work hard not to see him though there are times I have to. Worse yet, he and my husband had to work on a project together for 3 months. Both tried for about a month but passive-aggressive behavior came out from both. Neither would admit why. I’ve seen a counselor, I pray for it to end....stay away from the past. This man and I had no past and we have no future but I still have pain from allowing those feelings into my heart. Emotional affairs are oh so tempting but don’t go there. I don’t know if I still have feelings for him or if I just have pain for letting it happen. Be careful.
its good to be his friend but are you lying to yourself if this is not all that u want